I mentioned writing a will at 40, I have no idea where it's at, and perhaps should think about writing another one.. Hopefully I'll live another half century or so, but things happen and with my parents quite elderly and my daughter, not legally my inheritor, as I gave her up for adoption when I got pregnant at 19, I probably need to spell it all out. At least so we know who would get custody of my gun and cookbook collection as well as making my best girl friend legal custodian of Barkley. But if I'd had my way, my will would simply have been this. . .
Brigid's Living Will
I BRIGID D, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass seventh-grade biology if their life depended on it, or the hands of the doctors/lawyers who want to run up my already huge hospital bill. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
A frosty IPA
A Medium Rare Steak
A Terry Pratchett novel
My laptop for blogging
Bladerunner, or Firefly and the Remote
Fresh boxes of .223
My AR-15 with new PRS stock
A Omlette with Bacon and Cowboy Potatoes
or a long slow deep kiss
it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such determination is reached I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Note: if the "Rev." Jesse Jackson shows up at my bedside, someone, please just shoot me and make it quick. At this point, it's time to call simply ask my friends to raise their glasses and toast the good times we had, preferably after an honorary range match. Don't buy flowers. Give the money to a good conservative military organization. . . . if there's any left.
P.S. I hear that in the Scotland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors