Saturday, July 24, 2010

NOT a Post for the Kiddies - One of THOSE Days


Picture it in your mind:

Big important gathering with Secret Squirrel stealth mission group.

I'm to deliver an important document.

I drink the Megaladon sized "brain freeze in a bucket" on the trip there as it was 95 degrees and I'm in a obligatory dark suit.

So I have to pee before the meeting.

The bathroom has one of those soap dispensers by the sink that is "motion activated"

I leave my Secret Squirrel satchel on the edge of the sink after opening the side pocket to check on the document.

NOW. . .

Picture said meeting.

Picture me reaching into the side pocket of the satchel.

I pull out the folded up document and it's coated with several tablespoons of white slimy fluid, about ready to drip on the table. The soap dispenser apparently, set off by the proximity of the bag, had quietly pumped out liquid hand soap INTO the pocket while I took care of business.

I don't HAVE to tell you what that looks like.

Dead silence in the room.

What could I possibly say?

"Damn meetings with Bill Clinton".

I made one guy cry he was laughing so hard.

It's Saturday. Black Dogs and Bacon. It can only get better.

35 comments:

og said...

Black dog! the only canine with it's own theme song!

Bill Clinton has his own theme song too.

Island Bob said...

I don't care who you are that .......stuff is funny (both story and picture). In a couple of weeks I'll be subjected to the high voltage thought rays focused through the eyes of my daughter's border collie saying "pickup the ball, pickup the ball, it's right here pick it up." "Resistance is futile; I can stare for 1000 years."

Bob

Christina LMT said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, to have been there to witness it first-hand!

Scott McCray said...

So very glad I set my coffee down! Good 'un...I'll be sharing it.

Lweson said...

Dogs may stare but cats take independant action if ignored.

Turk Turon said...

Nice catch!

(The joke, I mean.)

They don't care WHAT you do with classified material as long as you don't compromise it.

john bord said...

slick willie still leaving his mark......

Beprepared said...

New distance record for milk through the nose laugh. "I don't care who you are thats funny right thar!"

Anonymous said...

and THAT'S why they pay you the big bucks!

Northwoods said...

I just bet Hillary would go.."Ahh I don't get it"! :)

immagikman said...

Absolutely superb! You couldn't have nailed it any better Brigid!

Way to recover :D

Carteach0 said...

LOLOL! That made my morning.

George said...

You should be thankful it was milk I passed through my nose, and not the earlier ORANGE JUICE!!

reflectoscope said...

I am also grateful that my coffee wasn't in my hand when I read that. Good save!

Jim

ajdshootist said...

Now that was one of the funnyest come back lines i have ever heard well done thats thinking on your feet,

Ed Foster said...

O.K., you win! That's is definately the "Button Down Mind" award winner of the week.

If you're too young to remember the old stand-up skits that started Bob Newharts career, I recommend either the one about the torpedo on the beach, or Sir Walter Raleigh trying to get people in England to start smoking tobacco. Or the one about the chariot company.

Worthy Madam. Truely worthy.

Anonymous said...

THAT was very funny and quick thinking.
I's also one that will be repeated to others. Thanks for the laugh.

Gmac

julie said...

That's one of the best lines ever. Way to keep your cool, Brigid!

Peter said...

The snark is strong! Tell me . . . were you wearing a blue dress at the time?

:-)

Warthog said...

Now THAT was funny.

Hat Trick said...

Good one! That's thinking on your feet.

Thanks for the laughs. Helps keep my spirit up while I'm sick.

MO Bro said...

TOTALLY AWESOME! I, too, would have loved to have been present in that room...

Woodswalker said...

Brigid, Fortunately my keyboard on the laptop is liquid tight.

I'll be plagarizing that.

Thanks!

A

Monte said...

That's my story and I'm sticking to it !
Oh, so bad, so funny.

chinasyndrome said...

Oh man.Excellent recovery.Still laughing!

China
III

Hurricane Mikey-- said...

Lucky you weren't wearing the blue dress that day...

Crawler said...

I agree with a couple of the above posters: It’s a good thing my glass of sour mash was empty and needed tending to before I read your current blog. I certainly didn’t need to spend my day off tomorrow in search of a new laptop…

Maybe it’s time for your own HBO special, eh?

Anonymous said...

Now that there is funny!

Maggie

M25 said...

Only true life can be that funny, sorry it was at your expense.

Great comeback though.

Skip said...

Like all of the above.
You are quick.
Sent this around the world.

M25 said...

Just got through watching the Boondock Saints 2, not bad if you liked the first one. However at 1 hr, 19 minutes, one of the heroines stole your avatar, in a good manner I would have to say, her hair needs to be redder, but I think you would be proud. Wish I could just tell you this on the side. They must have gotten it from the same place as you got yours or read your blog. Either way it was sexy and spot on.

Lois Evensen said...

What a PERFECT line. I'm still laughing!

Christina LMT said...

Most excellent, Brigid! I'll be anticipating your call. And late August is perfect, we just have to get together when you're out in my neighborhood!

Albert A Rasch said...

Brigid,

I wish I was half as clever as you...

best regards,
Albert
The Rasch Outdoor Chronicles: Saturday Blog Rodeo 7/24/10

davkt said...

Excellent, though knowing black labs the request for food should also have been made at the start of the statement (and 3 or 4 times during it for good measure)