Picture it in your mind:
Big important gathering with Secret Squirrel stealth mission group.
I'm to deliver an important document.
I drink the Megaladon sized "brain freeze in a bucket" on the trip there as it was 95 degrees and I'm in a obligatory dark suit.
So I have to pee before the meeting.
The bathroom has one of those soap dispensers by the sink that is "motion activated"
I leave my Secret Squirrel satchel on the edge of the sink after opening the side pocket to check on the document.
NOW. . .
Picture said meeting.
Picture me reaching into the side pocket of the satchel.
I pull out the folded up document and it's coated with several tablespoons of white slimy fluid, about ready to drip on the table. The soap dispenser apparently, set off by the proximity of the bag, had quietly pumped out liquid hand soap INTO the pocket while I took care of business.
I don't HAVE to tell you what that looks like.
Dead silence in the room.
What could I possibly say?
"Damn meetings with Bill Clinton".
I made one guy cry he was laughing so hard.
It's Saturday. Black Dogs and Bacon. It can only get better.