Because bad guys rarely shoot themselves.
Because rapists consider a whistle as foreplay.
Because I can't throw a pit bull at 1200 feet per second.
Because I'd look stupid pushing a gun around in a stroller.
Because my Acme Dehydrated Boulders are in my other bag.
Because a cop that isn't in my purse is at least 10 minutes away.
Because lightning never hits the bad guy at the opportune time.
Because Steven Seagal isn't here to hide behind (literally, not figuratively).
Because the only belt I earned in martial arts is the one that kept my shirt on.
Because throwing a jar of angry bees just pisses off the average armed burglar.
Because a running chainsaw is just hard to get through the aisle at Quick E Mart late at night.
Because to run, I need a sports bra that makes me look like I'm expecting an assassination attempt.
Because with a Smith and Wesson, it doesn't matter that I have the upper body strength of Justin Bieber.
Because if you think an underwire bra is uncomfortable, try a couple of Ninja Stars in your shirt pocket.
Because when I say (deadpan) "Stop, or I'll kick your butt" it doesn't sound as scary as when Chuck Norris says it.
Because tying angry Grizzlies to the front, side and rear of my car might stop the average carjacker, it's a bitch in traffic.
Because as a law abiding citizen, the United States Constitution affirms that right, and my city and state support it.
Because the world is not the one I grew up in.
- Brigid (c) Home On the Range 2011
35 comments:
"The right of no person to keep and bear arms in defense of his home, person, and property shall be called into question." --Colorado State Constitution, Article II, Section 13
Typical for you: Eloquent, relevant, and witty all at once.
Jim
Spot on!
Amen.
Very nice.
I really enjoy your writings.
Hope you are feeling well.
Very well put. When I took a required training course for CCW, one of the instructors (LEO) put it thus:
"when seconds count, we are minutes away........"
You're so awesome!
Right now, I'm so in ummm...
ahhh...
well...
I really like you!
Albert "Yes Afghanistan does suck." Rasch
I love it when you do these types of posts ~ suddenly, visions of a rowdy Apostolic Church Service appear in my head...pews rampant with stomping attendees and you in the pulpit preaching..."Because I can't throw a pitbull at 1200 feet per second...CAN I GET AN AMEN??" Love you Big Sister!!
Mark - corrected. . good catch.
Albert - you're in my prayers every day. I'll be happy to have you home safe (even if the hogs in Flordia will NOT be).
Shannon - love you too. On today's horizon, soft molasses cookies rolled in expresso sugar. I will email you the recipe if they turn out well, a new creation.
Well said, as always... :-) And SO TRUE!!
Because the world is not the one I grew up in.
Well isn't that the truth. Can you imagine the outcry if the "Dukes of Hazard" were on today.
My favorite Chuck Norris quote was in Code of Silence: "When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."
Very cool!
Brigid, you are the best!
Bob
III
Brigid - "Because I'd look stupid pushing a gun around in a stroller."
Question: would you look stupid if it was your trebuchet disguised as a stroller?
Hmmmm....
And, I do find it hard to believe you would look stupid doing anything.
:-)
Josh
Love it! Thanks
"I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy." and "When seconds count, help is just minutes away." are my standard answers when I am asked why I carry.
Molasses and Espresso in a cookie? Oh yes...a thousand times, yes!
OK, let's see if this one can get past the fearsome Hedgehog IP packet filter.
Pretty good for a sweptwing cowgirl. :)
You're obviously feeling better, which a a great thing! Molasses/Espresso cookies? Hell, YES! (altho I think they're missing chocolate/bacon)
As to the topic, because it's a Human Right (h/t to Oleg)
"Because the world is not the one I grew up in."
Most certainly. I commute through the edge of the 13th (IIRC) most dangerous neighborhood in the country but I'm denied the right to have the tools to protect myself.
Great post. I think you could kick Justin Bieber's butt though I'm surprised you know of him. :-)
Hat Trick - I have friends with preteens in the house.
I think he looks like a girl, but that's my opinion. My Mom probably said the same thing about Peter Frampton.
Riffing off of Shannon's "preacher" metaphor, I agree. This could make a great call and answer sermon. Some shout style B3 Hammond calling back...I can hear it now. :-)
Brigid - Ha! I'd say they both look like girls
Peter Frampton has talent though.
Jim
My top two reasons: first one I call Shantel, the second, Corbin!
I carry for their protection, to protect their Lives, their Liberty, and Their Pursuit of Happyness!
Amen, Sister!
I love this! Incredible!
Of course I am pondering the idea of pushing my gun in my stroller.. humm!
Again, excellent.. thank you, I love your blog!
My favorite John Wayne quote, as a cop, "Search warrant? Yes, I have one. I carry it in the bottom of my shoe!"
Based on what I saw in "Machete", several people could hide behind Steven Seagal these days.
If you don't mind a little La Raza propoganda (or the sad spectacle of a copulent Steven Seagal), "Machete" is fun with no lack of cartoonish violence -- one word: intestines. Though, sadly, the director does not include one of his trademark "10 Minute Cooking Schools" on the DVD.
Justin Bieber looks more like a girl than "Lady" Gaga IMHO.
As usua, great job! I often recommend your blog to ladies who are new to this whole self-defense thing. You have a way of putting things.
The rest are great, but they're all summed up in this:
Because the world is not the one I grew up in.
Ain't that the truth.
My aunt and uncle who lived out in the country didn't bother to lock the door at night. Staying over with them occasionally , sleeping on the couch, I would get up and lock it. Even then as a city kid, I needed it locked. Maybe it was because my mother had been paranoid, or because I had learned from her that there really are reasons to lock the doors when you can.
I don't know if they ever got to locking their doors consistently. I imagine they did, eventually. They're both gone now, unfortunately.
Glad you're feeling better.
"Because the world is not the one I grew up in." ~ Brigid
Its strange how the perspective of age can break the rose color glasses of the World that "WAS".
Sadly, I have started to lock my doors, The neighborhood is filling up with strange beings. But, when asked why I carry, my standard response is "Because, I can, it is my right.
Excellent. :)
Brigid - "Because I'd look stupid pushing a gun around in a stroller."
I kept my kids stroller for transporting guns at the range. And yes it does look a bit silly pushing shotguns around in a stroller.
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