Have any of you used Travelocity? You know the site with the cute little gnome that helps you get cheap rates. Well the rates are cheap. But then there are the surprises. The rooms you can get for a cut rate, but add on the taxes and the mysterious "fees" your room has gone up 20%. Yes, in addition to the city tax, hotel tax, airport tax, the "we offer both undrinkable caffeinated AND decaffeinated coffee in your room" tax, there is a "fee" that is unexplained and adds on quite a few bucks to your room cost.
So after little sleep, a long day and the cab ride from hell (I guess the problem with his steering might have been all the dead pedestrians wedged into the undercarriage) I arrive at my "Three and a half star" hotel. My non smoking room had an ashtray in it. Not a good sign. There were TV problems, the regular TV worked, but none of the (ahem) movies did. OK, I'll go swim to get some exercise. Sorry pool heater broken. (Water may not be as warm as we would like translates to "no running or diving off the ice floes.")
Check in at most hotels and find a room different than what you purchased, problems, services advertised out, Internet or movie channels inop or problems in general, and the hotel itself will usually make it up to you some way. I rarely complain, but when I've had to, I've been upgraded on my next stay at their chain or had a room comped. But not when you book through Travelocity. The hotel desk clerk will tell you, with that look doctors give you when they say you have 36 hours to live, "you need to call Travelocity's customer service". Sure they guarantee "your booking will be right" but when you call their customer service, not only do you get someone in India, they have a command of the English language that consists of the phrases "thanks for calling Travelocity" and "no".
So for them, I wrote a little song, which you can sing along to the tune of Roger Millers classic.
Hotel suite for modest rent
but taxes add like 20 percent
No porn, no pool, no pets
place reeks of cigarettes
Ah, but ten hours of wearing flannels
while relaxing with some 50 channels
I'm a gal of means by no means
Queen of the Road