Sunday, September 18, 2011

Field Dressing


Before I had my first piece published in a magazine, I got a couple of rejections. I'm a scientist by education, not a writer, it's just the way I relax and work through things. But I thought it was as good as some of the stuff I've read out there, at least with a good editor, so I went ahead and tried. One well known outdoor magazine said my work was really, really good but "too philosophical" for them. A woman editor at another publication that had a mostly male demographic suggested I perhaps write for a fashion magazine if I wanted a wider audience.

Oh yes, fashion is MY middle name.

The best outing I've had in ages with a handsome male, I wore a ballcap. I own one dress, the cobalt blue screen of death number and the last time I wore a ball gown was some Presidential Inagural Ball thingy I got invited to. My house is decorated in "Outdoor Life" and I have more guns than shoes, so I am NOT the person to go to for fashion advice and I'm not sure how I'd write about it.

"She had been waiting, knowing her target would come, moving though the trees with certitude. She holds her gun in solemn readiness, waiting just for the perfect moment. There, between an oak and a the ditch line, was the buck. She drew in her breath, bringing up her bright and shining weapon, which coordinated perfectly with her caban coat, in quilted napa leather so soft and weightless it practically floated and her Mongolian Tapestry boots.

What was that? She looked through her chic but dark shades of Persol PO 2720S Sunglasses. The buck was almost into view, moving quietly as if simply formed out of still air. The muscle memory in her is poised to call him to her, as her finger moves towards the trigger, its touch but a final kiss.

But she hesitated, distracted by a sound above, removing her finger from the trigger guard, the Chanel lambswool glove a perfect match to her hunting ensemble. There! Overhead. A formation on the wing, the honking just saying "Canadian Goose season opened yesterday in the South
Zone". It would be a perfect shot. She is torn, undecided. Should she bag the buck that's coming into range or something in genuine 100% goose down? What's a girl to do?"


In next month's issue: Hair Accessories That Work and Stalking the Latest Fall Trends in Fur.

I don't think so. I'll stick with what I like, even if its appeal is lost to the masses.
- Love, Brigid

22 comments:

North said...

Where do I go to subscribe to Field and Brigid?

Borepatch said...

Perhaps a Remington 870 in a floral stock pour Madame? Certainly it would coordinate with hubby's upscale New Year's Eve accessories ...

Heh.

For a while, we subscribed to "Garden and Gun" magazine. It was too much garden, and not enough gun (and the guns were all $10k + over/under shotties).

But it had a danged good chicked pot pie recipe, though. Basically, use grits as a dusting for the biscuit cover, for extra toothsome texture.

I'd think you could get some articles placed there. Just make sure each article includes some cooking ProTips after the hunt.

Borepatch said...

Thinking about this, your writing - if you combine the hunt "deep thinking" with the yummy "deep cooking" might actually be in Garden And Gun's wheelhouse. Just sayin'.

Rev. Paul said...

It's better for us that you've stuck with what works for you. And personally, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Hat Trick said...

Most definitely go for the buck. More meat. I'm practical that way. :-)

Great picture of the red fox. Was it your fence he was poking his head through?

I'm glad you're sticking with the blog and thank you for all that you've posted.

Alan von Altendorf said...

How many million page hits do they have?

Brigid said...

HatTrick - my friend Deb sent the fox photo.

Borepatch - those cuff links are the bomb. One of those may end up in someone's Christmas stocking this year.

Tango Juliet said...

Possum Hairdressers-- Friend or Foe?

Brigid said...

TJ - it only looked like possums nested in my hair on ONE hunting trip. Honest.

Dick said...

I believe firmly that a shotgun with a lovely wood stock is a marvelous fashion statement. Not "fabulous" mind you but marvelous.

Cold blued steel with an oiled walnut stock, that's the ticket to the world of fashion. Goes wonderful with a hunter green party dress with camouflage pumps and perhaps a lovely leather holster for your concealed carry.

john bord said...

Just to many decisions, one can not make a decision while keel towing to the editor that hangs on the cliff.

Now where is that story headed, to be goosed or bucked?

Skip said...

I'm still studying yesterdays necklace.

Guffaw in AZ said...

Nat'l Lampoon (in the '70s) had an ode to the perfect magazine for Brigid:
Guns and Sandwiches!

Lila said...

Honestly I think half the time they reject because they don't want to add to their work load. Of course that could be my own bruised ego talking.

I love your writing and though I claim to have some small gift with words I love how your words flow on the screen. They always brighten my day!! Plus I would so be down with your fashion tips. What holster for which gun? Lol! ;)

Melonie said...

I don't know how much fashion we'll cover, Brigid, but we'd sure love to have you check out the editorial calendar over at American Virtue when it's ready. The themes are in place - fleshing out the columns over the next month-ish. Maybe some of our topics for 2012 will be up your alley. Pup pics get you bonus points. LOL

Alison said...

I was laughing so hard I almost fell off my chair!

I will admit though, that I made a pair of earrings from the cartridges of the very first time I shot a rifle.

Not sure where they fall on the fashion spectrum...

mhgdairy said...

Definitely keep it coming just as you have always written it. I share your stuff on Facebook quite often. It is a favorite of many.

Aanoosh said...

We love you for who you are, not for who you're not. If you're happy with yourself and you're not hurting anyone else, then stay the course. You're doing just fine.

Chris

Ed Rasimus said...

You could do catalog copy for J. Peterman's mail-order. Searching the world for new products described with picturesque hyperbole.

hodgeman said...

I wouldn't worry about a rejection letter from an outdoor magazine...

I've always taken them to mean something like "Out readership is shallow thinkers mainly..." or "...since you refuse to be some corporate mouthpiece masquerading journalistic integrity."

Just keep doing with you're doing...

Old NFO said...

LOL- Classic Brigid :-)

Mr. Engineering Johnson said...

I'm pretty sure your style works just fine for anyone you would want to be around.

btw, nice bow tie!