Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday - Letter to Santa

No, I'm not up early for shopping (unless it's Black Rifle Friday at Brownells).

Thanksgiving is over. I had a very nice dinner at the family home of one of the IND blog gang, Scout26, who invited me to eat with them and share the fun. I came home from good food and company for a quiet night with a mug of tea and early sleep.

I have no plans to set foot in a store today. It's too early to put up the Christmas tree. However, I think I can get my letter to Santa ready. I'll leave some key phrases blank so you can make up your own.

Dear Santa,

I've been a very _______ girl this year, despite the mishap involving bacon _______ . As for that __________ incident at the conservation club, I can explain (it WAS Russian ammo).

I have prepared cookies and a bottle of _______ for your arrival and have ensured my stocking is free of pet hair, lint and razor wire shards of candy cane. So I hope you will remember me when you are Black Friday shopping, or ramping up the North Pole Elfinator™ Five Stage Press in .223 or .45.


Remember, when you arrive, there will be _______ and deer heads on the walls, but I see by the non-faux fur on your Santa Suit you're not afraid of _______, ________ OR PETA.

It's not that I didn't appreciate the Attack Spider Pecker Repellent or the Marie Antoinette Action Figure with eject-able head but I was hoping for something along the lines of __________ and _________ this year, preferably full auto.

I promise Barkley won't ______ your sled this year, and we'll move the skeet shoot to earlier in the evening.

Thank you for visiting. Please be aware that there will be a Nativity Scene to navigate around, as, no offense, it's not all about you.

Best regards,
Brigid

20 comments:

Lois Evensen said...

Love it, especially the last lines. ;)

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend.

Lois

Greyhawk said...

Nice one! I'll be chuckling over your letter to santa all day.

Tango Juliet said...

:) Only you.

Sassy said...

No shopping for me either. I was so tired from all the prep, I didn't even get up till 8 this am. Got the fire goin', coffee perkin' and sat down to read your blog.

Love the your Santa letter!

Sherry said...

Excellent! No Black Friday shopping for me! I'm enjoying four mornings of sleep without being disturbed by the alarm clock!

George said...

Love it, Brigid. Of course, retailers located in the Great White North are also using the Black Friday concept. Seems the lure of lower prices (even with the currency exchange) and greater selection of products is just too attractive ... especially for those living close to the border.

Sounds like your Thanksgiving day was a good one ... but it's still November. Why have we been thrust into the Christmas buying season>

Regards.

Hat Trick said...

Great one! Thanks for the laugh this morning.

Guffaw in AZ said...

In keeping with the current PC climate, isn't Black Friday racist?
(insert non-PC joke here)
I love the Letter to Santa. I made up some pretty good answers for the blanks! - gfa

riverwalker said...

Have a great holiday weekend!

Despite the mishap involving bacon grease?

RW

Mrs. S. said...

Oh, funny.
No shopping today here either. I should go to the grocery store to buy milk, but it is way too close to the mall!

Ed Rasimus said...

Any reasonable Santa would find your letter honest, appealing and worthy of significant visitation and gift-giving. From what I know of Santa, he respects honesty, integrity, hard-work and simply can't stand whining and political correctness.

Midwest Patriot said...

We only went to the local Walmart at 8 for the cheap cases of blue rock and shotty shells! Really didn't see a need for anything else. I let my daughter and mom go clothes shopping as it was a great destraction!

Old NFO said...

Dammit, I just got through cleaning the monitor, now I have to do it all over... :-) Love it!

Alison said...

this is the bestest Mad Libs ever!

No shopping today for me either, if I go out at all, "twill be to my pal Vandy's house, she is hosting a get-together-and-make-stuff "crafternoon" over at her place

Scout26 said...

Thank you for honoring us (and me) by coming for Thanksgiving.

We (and I) are glad you had a enjoyable time and were able to be a part of our family for a few hours.

Brigid said...

scout26 - it was an honor and I was touched you all would include me in your family gathering. The meal was superb (does your Dad give up the corn casserolel recipe??) and the company such fun.

All is quiet on the bat phone front and I have the rest of the weekend off now.

Ken O said...

Brigid you made my day! The post was great, especially the "not all about you". After reading stories of today's shopping shenanigans it is clear that too many have forgotten that.

An added bonus is the attack spider. You see it took the ex two years to get her stuff and there's some here that still has to be shipped and, um she's pants soilingly terrified of spiders....yeah, I'm going there with sadistic glee! } ;-)

mycrofth4 said...

There's nothing wrong with Black Friday shopping.
I set an alarm, got up, turned on the PC, placed my order and went back to bed.
Got the same deal as the poor schmucks waiting outside the store without needing a single cup of coffee.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Mrs. S. said...

Have to confess, I did a little browsing online yesterday and found some deals. If anyone does not already own it, barnesandnoble.com has the box set of Firefly dvd's on sale 75% off.

On a Wing and a Whim said...

Brigid, are you pondering what I'm pondering, when you mentally fill in the blanks there?

Hee!