Saturday, September 8, 2012

Faux Paws


Barkley is ever watchful, be it in the yard with a treat filled dog toy or inside.

He diligently watches the front and back doors, especially if I'm in the shower or sleeping during the day after a long trek home. He does it when we're at a friends house.


That being said, from my front porch, if one looks in the big picture window to see if someone is home, you can look directly into the main bathroom, which for some reason the builders put right off the living room in a little hall at the perfect angle to wave at guests. I'm always careful to keep the door closed, even when home alone.

I'm in there, uh. . ."defueling" after the giant Bucket o' Brain Freeze after range time, when from the living room comes that bark I know so well.  It's different than the "it's a squirrel bark, bark bark bark!" or the short sycophantic little bark that says "I miss you pay attention to me".  It's the "I see someone outside" bark. It''s daylight on a Saturday , the cop next door is tinkering on his truck with the squad car parked in front of my curb, I'm not concerned.

But Barkley is.  

There's a scratch and a soft whine at the bathroom door.  Look Barkley, it's either the neighbor kids selling candles for the school fundraiser they do every fall,  your arch enemy the UPS guy (don't bark  - he's bringing us reloading stuff!) or the plumber working at the other neighbors.

Not to be confused with Abrahan Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.

But I'm not in a position to come on out so he'll quit barking.

"Barkley, hold on, I'm. . .not. . dang!"    Scratch scratch scratch.

Finally with is a big determined PUSH on the door with a black snout, the latch gives way and the door pops completely open in full view of the front window.

"bark bark - Mom there's people here!"

Those two Mormon kids on their bikes probably won't be back. . .

14 comments:

  1. Curtains are your friends : ) It seems the phone never rings or nobody knocks on the door unless I'm in the "library"! I think there must be a sensor or something in there!

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  2. That's too funny. Thanks for the laugh.

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  3. Time to invest in a better lock on that bathroom door and heavy curtains in the front room.

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  4. LOLOLOL!!!

    You never know...they may be back next week-end with a few of their elders in tow. ;-)

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  5. I'm blushing along with you. LOL.

    You need some remote controlled shades on that window. Or a better lock on the bathroom door. Barkley's too good at his job, hehe.

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  6. I almost laughed Mika off my lap with that one!

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  7. I have some nice sturdy ventian blinds but they were up to let the sun in.

    I think I CAN get someone to work on the latch on the bathroom door though. . .

    Barkley and I had a good evening back at home together. A trip to Half Priced books, some playing with ammo, some dog treats and some homemade blueberry muffins (with a recipe tomorrow for A Girl and Her Gun) for supper with salad with chicken and strawberries in a honey balsamic vinigerette.

    Then cop shows on TV we picked apart the science of. . .

    Nite all.

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  8. Can I borrow him to scare off the Jehovah's Witnesses? The cats just aren't very intimidating. They even came back after I gave them Jerusalem artichokes from the garden that gave them terrible gas...

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  9. Being a Mormon and hearing years worth of missionary stories, that is most likely not enough to scare them off. You WILL however be mentioned in their talk when they get back home and have to report about their mission in front of the entire congregation. :D

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  10. Now that I have quit laughing (with you not at you {snark}).
    I think perhaps a nice L-shaped divider at the end of that hallway might be a good option. If I were about 1500 miles closer I would even instal it for you, assuming one of us could convince my wife to let me within 100 yards of any hot redhead who carries a gun (that being my Kryptonite ;)

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  11. Sorry, but that is funny as all get out.
    One of the ol houses we lived in had the bathroom directly off the living room...and if all doors were open...a straight view from the john thru the living room>kitchen>entry to the great outdoors...

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  12. Yes, I like the idea of scaring off the Jehovah's Witnesses. . . add to that the politicians that come around this time of year.

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  13. There should have been a beverage alert with that one.

    Thanks, I needed a good belly laugh.

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  14. Sounds like Barkley needs his picture on dog shaming.com. That site makes me actually laugh. I think it would be hilarious to anyone that has experience with dogs.

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