Dang, and I was ripping my shirt off BEFORE putting the bread in the oven. That explains it. But seriously folks, feet ON the work surface? No. And you do NOT want to work your gluten that much if you expect a decent rise.
I am still off work and have no desire to be either serious or nutritious today, so for now a bread recipe you can make without the scissor jumps.
Sour Cream Blueberry Muffins. These are NOT whole grain, nor healthy, but are wonderfully tender, sweet and moist and studded (snort) with berries. They mix up easier than you'd think.
2 and 1/3 cups white sugar
1 cup oil
1 and 1/2 tsp vanilla
4 cups flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cinnamon
2 cups sour cream (not "lite")
3 cups blueberries tossed with 2 tsp.of lemon juice
Grease 24 small or 12 large muffin cups or line with paper muffin liners. I like to use parchment paper, which you can get in all kinds of colors. For a standard size muffin tin, cut a 5 inch square for each muffin tin, spray the tin with non stock spray so it sticks better and place the paper in the tin, forming the cup.
In a large bowl bowl, stir together flour, salt, baking soda, nutmeg and cinnamon.
In another bowl, beat the eggs by hand, gradually adding sugar. Continue beating while drizzling in the oil. Stir in the vanilla.
Add the egg mixture, alternatively with the sour cream to the flour mixture (yes, you can just dump it in all at once, but it does make a slight difference in texture). GENTLY fold in the berries and scoop into the prepared muffin tins.
Bake for 20 minutes, until golden brown. And if you decide to dance around the kitchen in your best 80's hair band, make sure the cameras are off. That kind of thing can come back to haunt you.