Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Barkley Road Trips - Are We There Yet?

It was time for the weekly commute to work, a several hour drive in the usual heavy truck traffic. I left early, to get here before dark, still with what was left of an accident closing all but one lane, it took over four hours.

I've driven this route for a couple years now, no accidents and no tickets.  The secret is -

(1) drive a vehicle with an engine that sucks fuel like a CF700 turbofan  engine
(2) don't break any traffic laws
(3) don't break them as bad as anyone driving around you.

#3 is easy.  Find the worst possible driver in the world (which is not hard to do on I-65) and when you spot him or her, stay back at their 8 or 4 o'clock position, whichever keeps them between the Highway Patrol on the median and you.

Or simply draft behind the trucks sharing the road responsibily until that smile and glazed look in the eyes of the Dart Guy on the back of the truck creeps you out and you have to pass.
Barkley travels with me, with a harness that assures in a sudden stop he can't turn into one of the flying Wallenzas.  It does however, allow him JUST enough room to sit with his rear end on the seat and his front feet on the floor. 

You think I'm kidding, this is how he sits at home when he's not napping.
When we finally get to the crash pad,  he's all excited, RUNS to the back door in the garage.  Then he realizes, this is the small place, with less toys per square foot, no squirrels to bark at and his friend who takes him to the dog park won't be here until the morning.

And the sulk begins.

No one can sulk like a lab.
But Barkley, at least you don't go on call at midnight.


  1. Ah yes, sulking dogs... :-) BTDT...

  2. Try a weapons-grade female German Shepherd sulk.

    No walkies tonight - back is complaining about the abuse. So she's continuously underfoot - reminding you that's she's SULKING. Our big male GSD just flops in the hallway, so you have to continuously step over him.


  3. We don't see a lot of the Dart Dudes here. That is a good thing. I find it disturbing!

  4. Labs, yeah, nice sulk there Barkley, but you don't hold a candle to the diva, Miss Shiloh! She is the queen of Sulk. And to get even for no walk in the rain tonight, she will no doubt begin to whine and then bark her yippy bark at around 0'dark:30 tonight. If I'm lucky, DH won't wake up. If I'm really lucky, one of the Monkeys will let her out, and back in so I get to sleep!

  5. "Nobody can sulk like a Lab."

    Word up on that sister!

  6. The middle-aged girl chi-hua-hua sits like that sometimes, backside on the couch, front legs on the stairs
    (dog stairs in front of the couch).
    I'm guessing it's less stress on the joints - or the cat is at the bottom of the stairs!


  7. One of the reasons why I like cats. They still sulk when you tell them off, but:

    1) Can't get underfoot as badly, try as they might.

    2) Kitten-grumpy-face is *hilarious*.


  8. I have a Beagle mix that has been taking lessons from Barkley apparently :) Talk about puppy dog eyes :D

  9. No one can sulk like a Black Lab...
    It's not just the reproachful eyes, it the heavy sigh that just punctuates the accusation...

    The house is quiet, The Woman and I are reading our respective books after dinner and The Lab's nose is out of joint because, hey- it's never too dark for a tennis ball throw.
    She lays on the chair opposite us, ball between her front paws, looking at each of us in turn repeatedly, and finally, theatrically drops her oh-so-heavy head and gives the loudest, heaviest sigh...
    The subtext, of course: "You people suck."

    Black labs for the win.


  10. Good old Barkley. Yes, we know how Labs can sulk! ;)

  11. Yep. . . Labs are expert with the guilt trip!

  12. Yes indeed. He pulled a new one later. I was getting a bath, and he was banished from the bathroom as I was using epsom salts and didn't want him licking the salty water on the edge of the tub. He does obey the "out". I hear him sitting at the edge of the carpet by the open door, but can't see him. All of a sudden, a rolled up sock comes sailing into the room, a soft toss, not a hard throw. He'd gotten a sock, then flung it in, so I'd KNOW he had my underwear and come out. Pretty smart dog. Didn't work though.

  13. I just had 5 dogs ranging from the 1 the size of grapefruit, 1 the size of a large medium ladies purse, 2 the size of a large large ladies purse and the one the size of 2 twin double rifle cases and a cat who is more fur than skin staring me down while I ate my hotdog.

    And when I wouldn't share they stared at me like I was a traitor.

    It was MY dinner and they had theirs.

  14. OMG - Off Topic, but only because I care.

    Every time I think of bacon, you come to mind. No, that is not a slight. I may check into therapy for it, but that... isn't the point. :p

    I saw this, and thought you should know, there is a company out there that... well... Thinks as highly of you as I do, in this regard. So... Here you go!

    By the way, the company suggests, if wearing this in bear country, to go armed if you go underarmed? Or, something like that. Imagine the fun of deciding which firearm to pair with a deodorant!


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