Monday, December 9, 2013

Redheads with Tools versus Blondes with Bacon

Calculate the trajectory. Adjust your angle.

Launch that Pork Projectile!*

*assuming zero porcine spin and downward acceleration of gravity of 9.8 m/s2.

I tend to tinker with recipes and gadgets. So far I haven't destroyed my basement or set fire to the kitchen (though there was the one incident with the flaming pot holder). Sometimes the results are interesting. Sometimes we remove the remains in a bucket.

Sunday  I was tinkering around the crashpad workbench out in the frozen garage, but the thick gloves made me about as dexterous with tools as Tyrannosaurus Rex.  Time for plan B for experimenting until the temperatures come up a bit.
The Kitchen!   Brownies sounded good.  But I was out of cocoa, having just the basics, plus brown sugar, whipped cream, heavy cream and BACON!  (You can see where this is going, can't you). Butterscotch Brownies otherwise known as Blondies! With Bacon and salted caramel.  But I didn't want to make a whole pan, just a little weekend treat, with perhaps a extra large one I could take to my administrative assistant at squirrel central on Monday morning.

My first batch, I poured the caramel directly on the brownie batter before cooking.  Big mistake.  The thick layer of caramel boiled, lowering the temperature of the batter, so that the end of cooking time I had what looked like butterscotch jello.  Cooking it further simply crystallized all of that sugar.  It smelled wonderful but the the texture and firmness were way off (put it this way, I could have added some raisins and passed it off as an English dessert, and not in a good way).

The Second Batch?  Oh yes.
Chewy, Buttery, Sweet, Smoky, Salty. 

For the second batch, I added a little bit of chopped cooked smoked bacon to the batter and baked normally, brushed a tiny bit of the salted caramel on them as a glaze when they came out of the oven and drizzled a bit more over the top when serving.  We have liftoff!

Bacon Butterscotch Brownies with Salted Caramel


  1. You had me at redheads...


    Ok, BACON, too!

  2. I don't know whether you are evil, or a genius, Brigid... I know, you're an evil genius! Bacon YUM!

  3. This will single-handedly cause people to ignore their diabetes...

  4. You almost had Spotted Dick at your house!

    I've got a white elephant gift exchange party next weekend...this might be on the menu. I have a tradition to follow...last year I made your Guinness Brownies.

  5. Nothing beats tooly blondes with bacon... just say'n!

  6. Brigid would you come cook foe my wife and me for 1,2,3? or more months?

  7. Pig farmers whisper the name Brigid to get the heard moving across the field!

  8. Nice!!! And we already proved pigs can fly... F-4 Phantom, need I say more? :-)

  9. Wonderful! Both parts, actually. You make me want to dare tinkering in the kitchen again. By showing the failure is an option, and a bit more tinkering is good and can turn the thing around.

    Ah, but lately, I don't have the wherewithal to tinker as much. Still, a reminder that failure isn't the end of things does help. Uhrm, plus, that sounds great.

  10. Oh. Dear. 'Scuse me while I wipe drool off the keyboard.

  11. gfa - You have fine taste indeed.

    Monkeywrangler - I wonder if I can put Evil Genius TM on my business card?

    Auntie J - Each bar probably has the sugar content of a beehive.

    greg - Guinness Brownies - an excellent choice. I brought a can of Spotted Dick to deer camp as a joke, that raised a few eyebrows.

    old okie - I might have some complaints on this end and at Dad's if I did that. :-) Sorry.

    Brighid - in your case, I'd most definitely agree!

    Sunnybrook Farm - oh, you had me laugh so hard at that. Thank you!

    Old NFO - actually, I always liked the look of those birds, but you do have a point.

    Doom - learning from mistakes was invented in the kitchen I believe. I don't give up easy, and I liked the concept, it just took the tweaking.

    ProudHillbilly - I took a few to work and they were a huge hit. My technical assistant got one. The young man usually thanks me politely for goodies,and doesn't say much else (he's sort of quiet) but for this one he came over and simply said "please, oh please, make these again", and walked away, turned and said again "PLEASE?".

  12. I think I just went into insulin shock.

    Oh, and to your opening graphic: As God is my witness, I thought pigs could fly.

  13. Now I know why God did not allow us to be neighbors ! We would have been too vile a dietary influence on one another !
    Great post, Brigid.

  14. Never said I didn't like it, that was my first supersonic flight! :-) But it WAS a gas hog in stage 5...LOL

  15. Borepatch - hehehehe

    Alexndra of Viginia - Jan - I could picture the scene. knock knock. "Can I borrow a cup of bacon?"

    Old NFO - lucky you, I just got to watch them take off out of the guard base while I taxieed out in my little Cessna 152 working on my private license. That Cessna seemed pretty wimpy in comparison.


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