Monday, June 9, 2014

Goldilocks and the Three Berettas

Goldilocks goes to the gun store to select a pistol for self defense.  The sales representative shows her several models in different sizes to look at.

"This gun is too big!" she exclaimed.
So she picked up the second gun
"This gun is too big, too!"  she whined.
So she tried the last and smallest gun
"Ahhh, this gun is just right," she sighed.

But when confronted later by the angry bear, the tiny round only pissed it off, and the bear ate Goldilocks.

MORAL OF THE STORY, for primary self defense, bigger is better.

(and bears who live on porridge are going to be hungry).


  1. And then there was Cinderella who dropped a magazine while leaving the ball and the prince tried the magazine in all the girls weapons but it didn't fit....

  2. Goldie'd've been better off with a Maggie, don't you think?

  3. I heard a different version.

    But this blog is PG rated and that version of the fairly tale is rated "R".

    As k, and I'll tell you sometime.

    If Yer hubby says it is ok.

  4. Heh! Is that a... Oh, never mind!

  5. If my life is on the line, give me a S&W or Sig Sauer in either a 9 mm or 45 acp, hollow point, or maybe my S&W 7 round .357 magnum revolver. Nothing else will do. Loved your take on Goldilocks!

  6. Sunnybrook Farm - He Shoots! He Scores! Too funny.

    Mathew - :-)

    B. - I will await the day. I'm still chuckling about the time I came up and after the cat Goldie "Horked up a Hairball" and Midwest Chick started talking in Doctor Seuss speak and then you asked me if, with the Yeungling out, if I would like a glass and it went seriously downhill from there.

    Keads - :-)

    Sherry - My Sig 220 is my favorite all time personal piece, but it's overly photographed so decided to do something a little different with the new Canon and Sunday's Range bag.

  7. I like a good 1911... but alas my hands are too achy after a day at the range, so I made the switch to 9x19.

  8. Have you considered writing children's books? Srusly. :)

    I let noobs shoot my full sized pistols, with extended magazines (.45 has 16 rounds and 9 has 30 round mags). The weight seriously tames them down, regardless of load. I suggest they will get used to the weight, and in a real situation, adrenalin will negate some of that as well. I'll be taking a young man and his wife out before too long. They just got their conceal carry permits and are in the market. His wife thinks she wants a tiny .357. *sigh* I really need to buy a snubby. I wouldn't mind having one on hand anyway. The right one. No ultralights!

  9. LOL, gotta love SF's comment... THAT could morph into one helluva post!

  10. As the saying goes:
    Any gun is better then no gun. But if you're going to get a gun, you might as well buy something that makes as big a holes as you can shoot reliably and well :)

    Or as a certain fictional girl name Faith has been quoted as saying - though its certainly not her line originally - "There is no overkill. There is only Open Fire, and Reload!"

  11. > His wife thinks she wants a tiny .357. *sigh*

    Sigh, indeed. One of the unfortunately beginner- class classics: somebody who starts out buying (or being handed by her husband/boyfriend) the cute little gun instead of the big scary one with the kick-taming weight, hand-filling ergonomics, and bullseye-steadying sight radius.

    Back when lightly used examples were so available and affordable on the used market, I thought a surplus cop .357 and a couple bags of mild range reloads in .38 Special was just the ticket.

    If somebody who's never fired a handgun has reason to believe that a particular zombie is about to lurch toward her, then maybe they need to get something concealable on the way back from swearing out the restraining order. But if there's time, start 'em with the biggest gun that fits their hands and the mildest ammo that will run it, and explain that the little ones are the more advanced weapons and you'll get around to that. A flinch never learned is a flinch well cured.

  12. I just wanted to click on the Like button. Consider the "LIKE" button clicked.

  13. Did I tell this story before here?, Well anyaway:

    Good friend who's traveling to Alaska for the first time, mentioned that he heard he should carry a gun because of the bears. "Ah, yep."
    "when should I carry it?"
    "Anytime there's no pavement....."
    "There's not a lot of pavement in Alaska...."
    Then he proceeds to tell me his father-in-law gave him a little Colt .380 years ago. Should he carry that?
    "Ever fire it?"
    "Ok, then. Go buy a box of ammo, run some rounds through and take it to the gunsmith over at Voights and have him file the front sight off."
    "So if there's a bear, I can pull it out of my coat faster?"
    "Nope, it's for when you shoot the bear, and he takes away from you and shoves it up your Xss, it won't hurt as much...."
    "Look for something that starts with a four or five..."
    True story...


I started this blog so the child I gave up for adoption could get to know me, and in turn, her children, as well as share stories for a family that lives too far away. So please keep it friendly and kid safe. Posts that are only a link or include an ad for an unknown business automatically to to SPAM..