Thursday, June 18, 2015

Dear China -

OK - Sure you hacked all of our data and are probably selling it on Craigs List as we speak.  But you will never rule the world as evidenced by current marketing strategy.  I present  -  "Chinese Marketing  - a guideline as evidenced in an actual letter a large US manufacturer received and a friend printed and passed on.

Chinese Marketing Tips!

Be Friendly!
You don't need spell check!
Commas are best used in the "artistic" sense, placement should be creative.
If all fails USE ALL CAPS

Dear Sir and Madam!

Have a good day!

Allow me introduce our factory that we are professional fencing equipments in Shanghai China , we are the biggest fencing factory in China, our mainly products including fencing clothes fencing masks fencing lames fencing bags and fencing bales and parts,our equipment sales to nearly all over the world.  If you have chance, welcome to our factory!

Why so many fencing customers choose for us . because we have advantage than them.  if you buy from China .cooperating with us directly . It is a pity that we donnot cooperate directly.

1. choose for us ,can save your much money every year ,we are the biggest factory in China ,and have nearly have 11 years work experiences .not trading company!

2.We do many important big OEM brand  and FID brand order, so our quality is quite well .same as your quality ,but we have price advantage.

2.The most important we can do as to your request ,such as have your logo on the equipment .and design the new style and color you like.

4,We not only have professional worker for package for you and we have experienced sales for exports can save your custom, and will teach you choose which express or ship suit for your order .so the goods can safely transport for you without any problem.

5.We have new products nearly every quarter,and will notice you at the first time.

6.i will have discount as to your quantity.

if you have interesting in us, i will sent some photos for you reference we do for big brand and design the fencing equipment only belong to you!

so quality is no problem ,price is have advantage .i believe you must be choose for us.

MEANTIME , WAITING FOR YOUR CHOOSE , PRICE WILL BE HAVE SURPRISE  .when you have order , you can let me quoto for your singly.

Your kind and prompt attention will be greatly appreciated.


"Price will be have surpirse" is my personal favorite.


  1. "Specially offer. Each order come with fortune cooky for treat customers."

    Ah, Grasshopper, I think marketing booklet not mean what you think it mean.

    - Double Fake Master Po/Inigo Montoya/Sidney Wang/Tonto

  2. Wonder if you can get fruity oatey bars from them.....

  3. I'm confused about which fencing products. Fencing mask could be for the sport, fencing bale? No Clue. Definitely fencing lame. If you're dealing in stolen property, then you might want to dress accordingly in fencing clothes.
    There is almost too much material to work with.

  4. The quality will be a 'surprise' too... sigh

  5. "We running to ruyle our world so no have speke dis enlgs. Den you must speke Chine soon monsoon."

  6. Almost as funny as watching an old Charlie Chan movie!

  7. I know my mind is still garbled a little from all the drugs they gave me during my recent little health glitch, but SAY WHAT??

  8. "We promise numbah one boom-boom, gaijin....


I started this blog so the child I gave up for adoption could get to know me, and in turn, her children, as well as share stories for a family that lives too far away. So please keep it friendly and kid safe. Posts that are only a link or include an ad for an unknown business automatically to to SPAM..