Monday, August 6, 2018

Update on Dad

Sorry for the lack of posts.  Those of you whom I know off blog who are on Facebook know this, but Dad finally went into assisted living (his call).  There was a lot of arrangements to be made to be him settled and get his house ready for sale as he is in the Pacific Northwest and I'm in Chicago. For starters, the king size waterbed with the bright red velvet bedspread had to go. "The Love Boat" as Big Bro and I named it, is but a fond memory and Dad has a comfy bed with a new mattress and a new bedspread and a newer chair that will lift him to a standing position. With some of Mom's things around and photos of family and he's right at home.

His mind is still pretty sharp (not enough to handle his finances as I think he probably spent $3000 to various shysters that weren't legitimate charities to get Obama impeached before the checkbook was confiscated, but enough he could enjoy beating me at a rousing game of cribbage on a regular basis and enjoy some lively conversations with neighbors and friends).  But his strength was declining quickly and one of the home health aides we were paying $20 an hour for 24-hour care for stealing his opioid pain medication and replacing it with OTC stuff that left Dad in a lot of pain.  That was the last straw for Dad.

My cousin Liz and her partner of many years (who has family an hour from Dad) was a huge help in the physical move but still so many little details to take care of. The Pastor we had as a child has a son that has, with his wife, been friends with my parents for years. I used to babysit his kids and his lovely wife works with the seniors in our church and was there with them for prayer time with both my Mom and Stepmom as they lay dying. He owns a large realty company and Dad will have him sell the family home, the money going into a trust for his care, and any residual to my late brother's children.

But Dad is safe, he's happy in the changed environment (better cooking he said and lots more to do) and there are three men from his church at the same facility that he can play cards with. He's got two rooms and a lovely view of a garden. Not in his hometown, but a much better facility than what he could get there and not too far of a drive for friends that want to visit.

I'll try and be back with a post this weekend.  Partner in Grime is on the road and there is a  lot to do both at home and at work.

Love-
Brigid

22 comments:

  1. I know it is painful, but it sure sounds like he is better off - and happy too!

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  2. Brigid, this is my first visit to your blog. I saw it on another blog I follow and decided to check in to see if this was I blog I could relate too. I live in the PNW so do share that commonality. In addition I also had to move my mother to assisted living after she had lived with me and my husband for over 8 years. It was harder on us than it was for her...like you said, there was so much more activity to become involved with and new friends to be made. She enjoyed her last years in assisted care and I am so glad that we all agreed it was a positive move for all of us.

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    1. Thanks for visiting Sue! Twice over the last 20 years I've bought a house with a mother in law set up in hopes that my Stepmom and Dad and later just my Dad would live with me (Stepmom had Alzheimers) but they always changed their minds at the last minute. I hope he is happy here, he's almost 100 years old. They adopted me late in life so I'm all that's left of the family.

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  3. You're a few steps ahead of me on this particular path. May the Lord give each of us what we need. It's good to hear that your Dad is doing well in his new digs.

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  4. Praying for strength for you, and him.

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  5. Will keep your Dad in prayer. Good to know he's in a place he can enjoy.

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  6. I hope that this change will help ease any concerns he may have had about leaving his home. Being in a secure and comfortable environment will help reduce the "what if's" that come with advancing years.

    We will keep him, and you and your family, in our prayers.

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  7. My parents are so much better off in the place they are in, good food, someone to watch them and ots of new friends. Glad you Dad is ok.

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  8. Hi Brigid,

    My prayers are with you. My mom completed her journey last year. My sister and I were dealing with many of the same decisions and logistical issues.

    I am thankful you stil have each other. Cherish every moment. Your Dad's generation is a great testament to the true American spirit.

    Thank you for your service.

    God bless you and your family.

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  9. Home health aides who steal meds belong under the jail, and so do the insurance-approved agencies that send'em out these days. (Remember the good old days when patients and families could just hire a few trustworthy people?)

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  10. Glad he's well taken care of.

    Stealing pain meds. Ugh. What a world.

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  11. My heart goes out to you. I know this has been a rough road for you but you are one strong woman! I'm glad you dad went willingly.

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  12. I was worried it was about your dad, the previous Ferry post. Im glad he is still well and in a good place that he can get the care and supervision he needs and yet still have the fun to do things that make life worth living. You are such a great daughter. I hiope my daughter never has to go through this stuff for me.

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  13. It was a big adjustment for Mom when she went in, but the biggest thing was that she didn't have any friends around. I'm glad your Dad has some old acquaintances from his Church there - that will very likely be a big help.

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  14. That is wonderful news! Thank you for sharing. I know from experience that this is a huge weight off of one's shoulders.

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  15. Prayers for both you and your Father. I also was far away and when his assisted living center called with concerns I contacted the nursing home he had picked out years before. Went over and knew I couldn't leave him there. Luckily his brother and I found a new one close to his family. He was happy and I was happy knowing his family would see him often. I am also adopted.

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  16. He's moved in and settled. Good. Prayers from here continue.
    Youze guyz are in my morning prayers every day.
    It's great that he's got people he knows and can kibitz with around him.

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  17. All things considered, I'd have to say that is good news! And maybe a little bit easier on you and Partner too!

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  18. It was hard placing my mother in a memory care facility 3 years ago but I knew it was a better and safer place for her. At this point now she does not recognize me. You are so lucky your father still has his faculties. My prayers go to you and your father.

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  19. I read this and hugged my tablet. (Weird?) As someone who's had to care for both my parents (both now gone, sadly) I feel what you're saying. Also in the PNW near Seattle.

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  20. Damn thieves to hades!

    Glad you and Dad are making smart moves in positive directions.

    My prayers for all.

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