Thursday, August 19, 2010

4 MILLION READERS

Almost 4 million people have discovered daily life at Home on the Range. I'll probably hit it by the end of the weekend and am frankly, amazed. The first public post was in May of 2008 (though I have recipes archived behind that for lack of a better place to put them). A lot of people have visited, coming back again and again to share in laughter and tears, dog stories, gun stories, and of course bacon. The writing helps me unwind, and your sharing in my often solitary life has brightened up many a long day on the road.

Along with the many, kind and uplifting comments I get questions. None have been rude but they are usually posted with "please do not post this! But I wished to know". Most I did not answer at the time. But for you, the inquisitive but polite, here you go - Brigid's HOTR answer forum.

1. What is your current relationship status?


2. What are your views on marriage?


3. What is your favorite man's cologne?



4. What's in your purse?


5. Does size really matter?

6. What is the last movie you watched that you loved?

7. Where do you live?


8. Do you prefer a Bath or Shower?

9. Where do you work?

10. Who do you look like?


11. What do you drive?


12. What did you do on Saturday?


13. What did you do on Sunday?


14. I'm from California and I LOVE nature. Do you belong to any environmental groups?


15. We know you love bacon, what is your second favorite breakfast treat?

16. You are up early! Are you a morning person?

17. I love your recipes. What's your secret to fresh tasting fried chicken?


18. What you would say if you were free to say ANYTHING on the blog.


Thanks again, all of you, for the kindness, for the support, for the friendship.

Love - Brigid and Barkley

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Spaghetti Westerns


Spaghetti Western, is a nickname for a broad sub-genre of Westerns that came out in the mid-60's, so named because they were produced by Italian studies, often with a Spanish partner. There was a cast of local actors and, sometimes a falling Hollywood star, sometimes a rising one, like Clint Eastwood, who starred in many of Sergio Leone's films. The films were primarily shot in the Andalusia region of Spain, and in particular the Tabernas Desert in Spains southern province, because it resembled the American Southwest.

Most of these films were not that good, one of the first exceptions though, being Michael Carreras' Spanish-produced Savage Guns (1961) starring Richard Basehart and Alex Nichol. Later there was the Man With No Name trilogy (or the Dollars Trilogy) directed by Sergio Leone, starring then-TV actor Clint Eastwood - A Fistful of Dollars (1964), For a Few Dollars More (1965), and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

Though it wasn't a "spaghetti western" one of my favorite Eastwood films was the later Outlaw Josey Wales.

Josey Wales: You have any food here?

Lone Watie: All I have is a piece of hard rock candy.
But it's not for eatin'. It's just for lookin' through

Josey enjoyed a good spaghetti dinner in that movie. A meal I enjoy as well.

I've posted a couple of pasta recipes on here, made from scratch, but what about when you don't have a lot of time, or a lot of fresh ingredients and a couple hungry cowboys or cowgirls show up at the door.

Home on the Range Easy Spaghetti and Meatballs.

You start with a bottle of jarred pasta sauce. Sure, there are expensive ones, but I like the Classico with basil as it isn't too salty, doesn't have that "tons of white sugar" taste, and has big chunks of fresh tomato in it. I don't measure (I eyeball it) so here are my best approximations. Add two small pinches of crushed rosemary, about 1/2 heaping teaspoon garlic, a shake of white pepper, 1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper, one half teaspoon of wild honey, 3/4 to 1 teaspoon Penzey's Italian Seasoning, and about 1/3 cup of beer as it cooks so it doesn't get too thick. Add in a couple heaping cups of frozen Italian Meatballs (I like Schwanz products) and simmmer uncovered for 30-40 minutes. If you want to go wild, add another pinch or two of basil or (circle the wagons!) fennel. Serve with pasta, grated Romano cheese, bread (to mop up the sauce) and salad.


There won't be much in the way of leftovers tonight, for as Josey Wales said.

"When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
click to enlarge any photo

Cowboy Action. .

Laundry?

No, that really wasn't how I planned to spend my Saturday. But with a lot of chores to do and a forecast for occassional heavy rain, sticking around the homestead was going to be it today.

At least I can make something like. . .

Cowboy Action Cookies



click to enlarge food photos

With peanut butter, oats, vanilla, dark chocoate mini chips and M and M's they are a family favorite.


Dense but soft and filling, have two with a cup of cowboy coffee and you'll be able to make it through that afternoon gunfight. But try to stick to two, or you might need a new belt.

Monday, August 16, 2010

World Domination and Bacon


It's a weekend to remember
as long as no one's dismembered.
- The Penguins from Madagascar

Back to work. The weekend was needed. LOTS of sleep, biscuits, meatballs and gunpowder (though not IN the meatballs, that tends to cause some dangerous burping), a little TV, wheel guns and four wheel drive.

Time away from obligations, to bake bread, read a book, and the best part, conversations with friends on life, lever actions and world domination and the bacon bar (milk or dark chocolate?)


You thought I was kidding, right?

Thanks to all of you who dropped a note, or dropped by.
- Love Brigid

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Joys of Travel



- a day in the life of a traveling Squirrel.

I stay in places that have TV's in the bedroom bigger than mine, and with many more channels. I've always just purchased basic cable as I don't watch much TV, or HBO or anything like that. Mythbusters, Man vs. Food, Dirty Jobs, Discovery, History, war movies, sci fi like Firefly, B.G., Red Dwarf, that sort of thing.

So when I have access to a fancy TV as I get ready for sleep I have fun looking through all the channels. But since I've usually been through multiple time zones and have been awake a long time, I start clicking buttons without really looking, sometimes getting QUITE the surprise

Picture the conversation - I'm channel surfing when my buddy Miles, from the International Sneaky Service, checks in to say hi and asks if I'm settled in safely.

M. -"I'm watching Two Mules for Sister Sara!"

B. - "I'm going to watch a movie too!" (click, woah!) . . . . . "Uh, I'm not sure what it is but it's definitely NOT G rated "

M. -"What movie?"

B. -"Hang on." (turns up sound)

BOW CHICKA WOW WOW, BOW CHICKA WOW!

B. - "I'm not sure, but I think it's called, let's see here. . . . "weapons of ass destruction."

M. - (long pause)

B. - "Either that or a really intense episode of MacGyver"

M. - (chuckle) "MacGyer?"

B. - "Well, there's a beautiful woman, some gadgets and look! Something exploded!"

M. - (can't speak, he's laughing too hard)

I'll be on the road a lot the next couple of weeks and hopefully can find "Mythbusters" on to watch in the week hours. I'm not sure where all I'll end up. Since I've exceeded Platinum status as a frequent hotel guest and am something like the Kryptonite level, I get waters and snacks in my room. But sometimes I get lucky and stay in cities where I can find something other than a mint on my pillow to fortify me for another day of playing Agent 000.


Monday, August 9, 2010

Tactical Turtles

Before Barkley I had a Samoyed husky and another lab. The lab was the best duck dog ever, and we spent many an afternoon down in the south bringing home some quackers. I worried about gators, they'd been known to take a dog, but the snapping turtles could be dangerous as well.


Back home, a bit further north, no gaters but still the occasional snapping turtles out by the two ponds on the property, the one the cows used and the one that was right behind the house.

The Sammy wasn't a hunting dog, he was a shedding dog. I once got so much hair off him in one brushing that I filled up a large trash bag with it. It was later found taped it to the stearing wheel of the old Buick with a note " drivers side hair bag." But one thing he would retrieve and constantly. Turtles. Box Turtles. I'm not sure where he'd get them, I figured from around the pond in the back but at least once or twice a month he'd be at the back door with one in his mouth, unharmed, waiting for a treat because of this great gift he had brought me. Box turtles have a moveable hinge on the lower shell that allows them to retract inside the shell and then completely close up, leaving no flesh exposed, but I was afraid his sharp teeth might still do some damage. I'd take the turtle gently from him and go out to the back field and let it go. But one day he kept going back and back and bringing me the same turtle. I was afraid he'd hurt it, so the last time, I decided to just take the turtle back to his home, where the dog couldn't get him. The pond.

I walked on back, turtle cradled in my hands as if he were glass and paused. The sun was high and hot, contemplating us sleepily like a large somnolent yellow cat, and I could smell the water. As I got to the waters edge, I lobbed him out into the center of the pond.



Time almost stopped, as he hung there for a moment, hanging motionless and without physical weight, finally giving over to time and gravity, descending into a perfect arc into the center of the deep pond.

Free Willy!

Sploosh!!! His shell closed up, he sank to the bottom like a stone and with a few air bubbles he was free.

I got home that night and my brother in law came over, returning a tractor and I told him what I did. He started laughing so hard he cried.

Apparently box turtles are LAND turtles, and though they might gently paddle a bit in a shallow warm snippet of water, swimming up from a dive to the depths was not in their repertoire.

I sent Mr. Turtle to his doom.


I hope he at least enjoyed the flight.

So for tonight, something Old Lightning sent me. Turtle Burgers for your dining enjoyment. They don't go with water, but I imagine a nice beer will do just dandy.

Per the directions: Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave, then the next step, add hotdogs as the heads, legs with slits for toes and tail. Next step. Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees. A little crispy, not too crunchy, the way a turtle should be.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Weekend at The Range . . .

. . . or how I woke to find a Budweiser bracelet that smelled of Pinot Grigio on my keyboard.

The day started out quiet as usual, though there was a lot going on this weekend, Gen Con down in Indianapolis, several gun matches and of course. the usual chores to do around the place.


But Dateless On Saturday (like Sleepless In Seattle but with reloading) was not going real well. The Big Game cougar had already bitten my head off before I could even get off shot number 2 (note to gamers, shotgun, NOT .223). Meanwhile, out in the back, G Dog and Barkley were patiently waiting for another stuffed squeaky toy to wander into the yard so they could protect me by killing it.

Still I had plenty to keep me busy. I got drywall dust dusted up on the furniture that is bunched while the walls are redone and painted in the bunkhouse. I'm sleeping on a futon at friends while there are multiple showings of my house. I miss my own bed, I miss my privacy but staying here I know will allow the realtor to really pursue the sale, without myself and my weird hours and the dog around.

The family was gone for the night, so it was just me and the dogs and I was getting hungry.

Let's just say my attempt at making blackened salmon did NOT go well.

So, as the sun started to settle in the sky, I was thinking of Plan B for dinner. I'd heard there was a street fair going on down south in town until about 11 PM but wasn't sure if I wanted to drive in. The decision was made for me as a car pulled in the long drive. Two of my Secret Squirrel buddies rolled in for some of the activities around the state and came by to snag me and take me out. They'd mentioned it last week but I figured they'd forgotten about it. Then M. and N. are at my door! So to the street fair we went!



The little town I live closest to is small. Locals refer to it as a village with a main street of brick and thriving small businesses that can make you forget that generic strip malls are out there somewhere. We arrived in early evening, walking down the main street which was blocked off for the activity.

It seemed that all the local restaurants had things to offer, and not just your mundane burger and hot dog offerings.

I went for the Rib's from a local bistro.


While my friends some of the more exotic offerings.



We sat and we ate and we laughed, telling stories of 44 magnums and the relevance of "pickle, pause, pull" for Flying Squirrels everywhere. It reminded me of evenings as a kid, usually around Fourth of July or Labor day. We'd go to the big city park, with a basket of cold fried chicken and apples and cheese and lemonade and sit and wait for the festivities to begin.


My folks were childhood sweethearts and were planning to marry and start a family as soon as Dad graduated from college, when war got in the way. In ROTC, he went in as a Captain and they made a decision to wait for his return to marry, he not wanting leave my Mom alone and perhaps pregnant when he shipped off. He didn't see her again for four years, riding off from the high ridges of Montana to a galloping cavalry of battle and glory, fulfilling the duty he took as seriously as his devotion to her.

Four years. In the big scheme of their lives, it was only a blink, yet it colored everything about how they lived after that, like the war was a lens that they would forever look through. I look at all the pictures they sent to one another during that time, pictures Dad still treasures. There are photos of fun, the laughter of just being 20-something years old; photos of Mom hamming it up with her friends, and photos of my Dad in his uniform, on a rare afternoon free. But if you can look real close, you can see the worry about their eyes, anxious nights and sleepless waiting, not for days. . or months. . . but for years. . . . . wondering when they would see the the bright clear eyes of the one they loved.

When he did come home, outwardly unharmed, unlike much of his squadron, he had changed. Changed with what he had seen and witnessed, and, like most soldiers, he had developed his own survival ritual, his system of integrity and his concepts of what it meant to be worthy of the uniform he wore. With this, he and Mom married immediately and settled into a comfortable, steady, uneventful life that the youth of today would indeed consider dull. They didn't have a huge mortgage for a house that was too big, multiple cars, or exotic travel or trips. They created a steadiness in their life, mowing the lawn, washing the car every Saturday, dancing in the living room to music from the stereo, a quiet sanctuary of quiet routine and sameness. Then very late in life I came into the picture with "we can't adopt babies now - we're retired!" -and life changed, but not by much. When Mom died of cancer, Dad remarried, a couple of dark years later, the widow of another Veteran, a passionate, funny and giving woman who brought into our lives the same steadiness and love.


As a kid, small town lived seemed rather boring and I wished that something big would happen. Something exciting. But it didn't. Something big had already happened to them, and not that many years back. Still vivid in their memory were fighter aircraft limping home in pieces only to crash before their eyes; flag draped coffins of family and friends being sent home, losses beyond redemption. And then there was the waiting. There was no instant communication then, no emails or cell phones to keep in touch. Their memories were days of silence and snippets of news, of worry and gas shortages; survival in a nation at war, the fear greeting them each day as they waited, hoping for news of a homecoming. At night they prayed for the one they loved, so far away, speaking the same words themselves, words half heard in the stillness, separated by an ocean of distance and an honor requiring duty.


Maybe after all of that, Dad's goal was simply that nothing big happened again, nothing except safety. That and the warm embrace of the woman he loved around him each night, in a world at peace because of the one big thing that you did.


So it is my thoughts go back to those family celebrations at holidays where we'd sit out, awaiting the night and the start of the fireworks show. At the end of the display, as the rockets rained down, ones that exploded like living thunder, and the small lit ones that draped across the sky like a lei, flowerings of light floating slowly down to our safe little spot I'd glance over at my Dad. As the last one, the showstopper, exploded in a blinding red and white of a thousand suns and a burst of sound that hurt the ears, I saw the tear on his rapt upturned face, his hand over his heart, as he remembered his comrades, and thanked God and those night stars for the beautiful girl he had proudly fought for, for the years he had with her, with the great love he had then and after.

Dad has not forgotten such times, and neither will we, for a nation without history is not redeemed from time, for history is a pattern of such timeless acts. So while the light dims on a summer evening in small town U.S.A, history is now, history is America.

So we remember as we watch, those who laugh and love here, men and women, some alone, some hand in hand, children, the elderly, the small flags and small memorials to a small town that thrives as a nation remembers. The light has almost failed out of the sky and soon it would be night again. But there is music and there may be fireworks that spark the night; spots of brightness that illuminate a heart's hesitant suspire, making a little light on earth, even though night is looming.

It is worth waiting for, for the orange and red lights that blaze brighter than firewood, tongues of flame that fall into the folds of darkness, falling to earth, to a field of flowers, until the fire and the flower are one. For tonight, as the sky fills with refracted moon glow and the popping sounds of celebration, I raise my glass, a toast in the windless night that is the hearts heat. A toast to those we love far away, A toast to small towns, safe places, and friends. To the remains of honor and pride of life. To hope. And most importantly, to the men and women who fought and served so that we may have such nights.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

It's EASY to register your AARP membership

click to enlarge



Dear AARP:

Yes, my birthday is in less than two weeks. I'm hitting one of those mumble mumble and holding milestones. But I wish to respond to your offer of membership.


(1) You supported the Health Care Bill.

(2) I can STILL benchpress more than the average Democrat and fit into a leather bustier if the occassion would ever arise, thank you very much.


(3) Given the economy, I won't get to retire for another 15+ years.

and

(4) Something seems to have happened to your membership card.

Please remove me from your mailing list.
- Brigid

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Happy Birthday Barkley



Forget the candles, I want something that goes "Boom!"

It's Barkley's 7th birthday tomorrow, exactly one month before mine (and if you're curious, in dog years, I'm dead). I think back to one hot day, when he was about seven weeks old and . . .

A small farm in Ohio.



I can't believe he was ever that small. His Mom's owner took me to him and a huge cluster of little black dogs, rounding the corner to greet me and a friends daughter who went with me.

I really didn't need a dog, but I was at a spot in my career where I would be home for a few months without break to train him. Barkley's sire was a National Grand Field Champion and when a coworker got one of the dog's offspring a previous litter, a great little dog, I knew I wanted one of my own. When it came time to select one from the next litter, there were 8 of them, all cute, all cuddly. How to pick? Some of them came frolicking over to me, mindlessly entertained by the smell of new shoes. Barkley just sat and looked at me, as intent as I've seen in a puppy. It was a look of hesitation, not through fear, not physically but in his little doggy spirit, that profoundly sober alertness you see in someone of quiet intelligence as they size you up.

After assessing me carefully he came over and sniffed my hand, then sat at my feet, ignoring the other people there with me, snuffling at my shoelace, while the other pups, losing interest, went off to eat a bug or something. Barkley didn't leave me the rest of the time I was there. Where I went he went. And simply sat and looked at me with satisfaction.

I told myself I wasn't going to get another dog, not going to lose my heart again. Their lifespan is too short, and my heart still ached from losing my last old dog, too soon after another death in the family, the soft release of his spirit in his last breathe against my hand as the doctor slipped the needle into his furry body.

That day, the pups too young to be separated from their Mom, I raced that 50 miles back home down country roads in an old BMW, my heart joyful for the first time in years. In a couple of more weeks I was able to fetch him, and that night as I slept, a little black lab puppy lay on my chest, soothed by the sound of my heart, still reluctant to get far from me.

I've owned several dogs in my life. All large hunting/retriever dogs or huskies. Barkley was my first dog after several years without one, living in a small citified condo while I saved for a large place of my own.
He faithfully waits for me each day that I'm out working. When I'm gone for lengthy periods, one of my two good friends either stays with him or has him over on a sleep over. All are his "pack", be they blond, brunette or redhead, male or female. When I come back, he's either out in the yard playing with kids and dogs, or sitting right by my window, alerted to the sound of the big black 4 x 4 coming up the drive.


He's pretty patient. I don't usually take him out to play as soon as I get home, needing time to unwind myself, especially if it's been a long day or one that's high stress. He'll just sit and look at me and wait, knowing that like the regular phases of the moon, I will soon put a Bass Ale or a Guinness in the fridge to cool for later or brew some tea if I'm on call. Then it's time for running with him around out back and throwing his two favorite toys, a plush bone on a string that I can throw far, or any kind of ball that he can haul around in his mouth.
Yes, as many people might say, he's just a dog. He'll never win any awards as a rocket scientist. He still sits patiently by the spot next to the counter where once a roast chicken fell on the floor, as if there's a secret poultry shrine there and if he waits long enough, another will reappear on its alter. He'll sniff anything he comes across, chase the same ball for an hour, convinced he's on some major breakthrough in retrieval tactics. And he's consumed an entire pizza, a sock, a plastic sandwich bag, a jalapeno pepper and a dead worm, all with the same gusto.


But our pets are family to many of us, and are much more than animals. They teach us about unbridled living in the moment and following your heart. They teach us to appreciate the simple things, the glint of sun off a pond, a walk in the woods, one last look at the night sky as the stars finally fade. As Barkley goes into full point on a plastic deer in someones yard, I think how he has also pointed me to the things that matter in life. Loyalty, devotion and love without strings attached.

He's seen me through good times and bad, as I him. Once while I was away, he badly injured a leg. No one is sure what happened, one minute he was playing in the back yard, jumping high for a toy and the next he was hobbling with pain. My friends were beyond concerned and hoped it was just a sprain. When I got home, he'd quit eating, then drinking and my concern turned to panic. I called Tam and she came over, helping me make a little stretcher out of a rug to get him into the truck and off to the doggie hospital in the city for x-rays. It was a soft tissue injury and they kept him overnight for some hydration, some pain relief, and anti-inflammatories and he was better. But I was like a parent there, in the waiting room, the male vet tech trying to sooth me as I fought tears. He said "are you by yourself" and I sniffed," no a friend is with me" He said, I'll go find them, what do they look like "I said, look for the 6 foot, beautiful blond in the Blackwater hat pacing the lobby looking worried."

We brought him home and he was fine in a few days, but in that moment I got a portent of what it will be like to lose him someday, as I know I will. For now, he's here, the life of the party and a big part of our hearts. Yet, though dogs come and go in the course of our lifetime, yet they always stay with us. I have good memories of duck hunting with my first lab, of romps in mountain snow with my two huskies. Three dog nights, in the big old bed, a mountain storm wrapping itself around a cabin like a dark blanket.

I probably get too attached. But Barkley is family to me. Not a substitute for a relationship with another human being, but an outlet for the warmth I harbor in my soul, seeking a place for the waters of love to go when all else is damned up. He's my confidant, he's my fashion critic (jeans and black t-shirt again? Well if you insist Barkley), he's the soft coated Kleenex when I cry.


He's given me renewed hope in the capacity of a heart, as his ability to love is boundless. He'll stay on alert, face aching with a grimacing growl, keeping that squirrel at bay while I'm at work. He's been the soft nuzzle of concern on my neck after a coughing fit when I'm sick, always there, even if no one else is. I know that even when he's old, muzzle flecked with grey, woken by my movement into the family room where he snoozes in front of the fire, he'll move to my side as swift as strong as ever. Looking at me with brown eyes more humorous and honest than many humans, above the blunt black nose, content simply to be by my side because I'm there.


He's taught me that money doesn't matter, he's as happy with a beat up old toy as anything I could give him; satisfied with a sleeping bag in a tent with me more than a luxurious pillow top mattress. Life is simple, someone to love and something cold to drink, a well loved toy to play with and water.Life has changed for us, by choice. It's no longer the plush life of an upscale suburb, but a quiet existence, with less bills and more values. Life out here has taught us both a lot, myself to be more self reliant

But I love nothing more than sitting in the bed of the truck, Barkley by my side, as the night envelopes us. Some folks say they don't like the silence, needing either people or a TV around and on all the time. Barkley and I love the silence, nothing but our breathing in these open spaces. A tromp out into the corn fields with the old Belgium Browning, maybe a pheasant for dinner if we're lucky. This is all we really need, not a fancy house or 3 cars or designer clothing. We have food, family and something in the distance to chase. . .

. . .a bird or perhaps a dream.


That's all he and I need for now.

It took him a moment to size me up before he selected me, but that first night together, his little doggie heart beating against mine and his tongue licking my cheek, I was the one tasting the finiteness of life, and the inestimable chance we have to connect and love again.

Some things are just too precious to pass up even as we know we can't hold them forever.


OK, it's your birthday, you can have your own can of Tactical Bacon.