Some women deal with stress by traditional methods. Ice cream. Shopping. Good old fashioned tears. Tried that. Doesn't work.I prefer things that go boom!
Black powder therapy. Cannon ready. Range style.You just need a few spare parts from the shed, garage, or evil laboratory and perhaps a friend or relative to divide the blame. And a golf ball.The golf ball is essential. Seriously, chrono this, post the numbers and you could seriously transform golf.
Now I'm not going to explain how to build one. Sure enough I'd leave out one step, someone would lose an eye and the next thing you know, I'd have 5 drooling personal injury lawyers on my porch (zombies!)Do your homework, check your state and local laws for restrictions on such things (many modern subdivisions have a "no cannons" covenant). Don't mix blackpowder with tequila, alpacas or enclosed areas. But there are directions on the net on a number of legal, family-friendly, build this science experiment in your garage kind of websites and there are even golf ball cannons for sale, that look like something out of Bladerunner (and are about $280 and up).
With the right amount of black powder, dry, loosely packed material (yes that is cloth) and a quick but thorough check of the area to make sure no people, animals, news choppers, Conservatives, homes/property or any one's Twinkies Stash are in the line of fire and beyond.FORE!!
Almost 1000 feet. You couldn't even see it go. A quick sponge out with the world's biggest home made Q-tip to to extinguish any burning powder remnants and cool the interior a bit and it was time for strike 2.
Of course, the successful first strike raised the question.
What would this thing do with aircraft gun sights? Then, with sights, you could take it deer hunting. Kill AND gut the deer in one. . . . . (one stop shopping)
Beats the hell out of shopping.
Coming up Next Week - Bowling Ball Mortars and the Single Girl.
LOL!!! OMG! Thanks for my laugh for the day! Actually, golf balls make great targets for shooting. I get old ones that my son doesn't use anymore and love shooting at them. . . uh, did I ever tell you that, for reasons I will not go into here, GOLF is a four letter word in my vocabulary. So shooting at golf balls serves more than a stress reliever. Hang 'em by strings and when you hit one with a .45 acp. . . well that is a great thrill for me!!!
ReplyDeleteThe anal-retentives at my gun club haven't banned cannons, yet. I'm thinking I need one just to shake up the neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of neighborhoods, what kind of subdivision would have a "no cannons" covenant? Scurvy dogs! Blackguards!!!
Bowling Ball Mortars and the Single Girl!!? I got my popcorn!
Please, please, please post video!!!
That was a nice post unlike all the other good posts.
ReplyDeleteI notice it's on wheels....is there a special carry permit needed for one of those? I'm not a big fan of open carry, but that would be the exception.
ReplyDeleteLOL :)
Very, very nice! Well done!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteThink that would look real nice mounted in the bed of my pick up, with a no tailgating sign drooped over it.
Now...... may I laugh me ass off.... chuckling
I was already thinking about one that would shoot a bowling ball then you mentioned it at the end, I love it.
ReplyDeletePotato cannons, golf ball cannons, beer can mortars...so much fun and so little time!
ReplyDeleteAnd Brigid, I think I'd risk your trebuchet delivery system for some of your homemade chicken soup! It sounds wonderful, even on our August heat wave.
Vic303
That's a good one, B. :) May have to try that.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Love all things that go "boom" and make smoke and fire and propel everyday objects far, far away. Like boom! Like fire! Caveman talk, why Thag suddenly talk this way?
ReplyDeleteKid, you have too much fun ;)
ReplyDeleteI want to come for the next one!!!!!
ReplyDelete"Then, with sights, you could take it deer hunting."
ReplyDeleteWhat - you think this has not already been thought of? Come now. This is the modern age. We have this thing called the "Internet" that you can pretty much find anything on. Thus, how to conduct the hunt:
http://www.buckstix.com/howitzer.htm
And if you'd like to build your own howitzer (that fires an honest-to-God 12 pound cannon ball, none of this golf ball stuff), the plans can be purchased here:
http://www.buckstix.com/HowitzerPlans.htm
Ha! Love it. I'm way over due for some splodey therapy. Might just have to give that a shot.
ReplyDeleteHere's how the barrel for that 12-pound howitzer was built.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.buckstix.com/HowitzerBarrel.htm
I love how you think ! There is only so much shopping I can do. Exploring things that make noise is way more fun. I am so glad you added the part about alpacas. My hunch is that miniature horses probably wouldn't enjoy this either. I wish you lived closer. We could have a girls weekend building a spud gun with pvc pipe and powered with easily ignited WD-40 ! That is way more fun than shopping for a new handbag !
ReplyDeleteLooks like a Russian mortar.
ReplyDeleteHooo Ha! I'm still struggling with the image of drooling zombie lawyers on your porch. Somewhere I hear a voice: center of mass, center of mass...
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the Schedule 80 candy cannon. Guaranteed to spread candy over an entire football field with only 12 gr of 2F
ReplyDeleteSherry - I think we talked away from the internet about that once. :-) I understand. Golf balls as targets? hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteMarty - I showed the girls your photos of the recent Africa hunt, it's a good thing you don't live down here, you'd have a bigger fan club.
stevierayv - thanks, and for the link as well!!
naturegirl - open carry? I about spilled my tea at that. bwahahahah.
Keads - I knew you'd appreciate, for you know how to have your own fun involving powder and lead.
johnbord - I think I can come up with an engineering diagram for that!
Sunnybrook farm - welcome! And yes, that would be too much fun.
Monkeywrangler - I do hope you are feeling a little better tonight. Drop an email when you feel up to it and we can catch up.
Blue - no 337 needed! Just build it and go!
cw swanson - I have a birthday coming up and was teasing my team (most of them are older, but not all) that I have been around long enough my high school prom theme was "fire".
Skip - I try. I'll be gone in another 50 years, best enjoy these.
Jennifer - splody therapy is good.
RonF - excellent! Thanks for the link.
Jane of Virginia - we would most certainly have a good time. One of these days. . .
Harry Flashman -welcome to the Range sir! Yes indeed.
Mathew - center of mass. . ha!
GreyLocke - that's so much more funny than "trick or treat!"
JaneofVirginia, I use Aqua-Net in my spud gun. Works like a champ!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the PVC-pipe potato gun that we had when we lived in Ohio...and our nephews lived with us (ages 19 and 21ish, at the time). They used it to launch big ol' crabapples. I believe they killed it. The potato gun, that is. After losing several crabapples somewhere in the neighborhood.
ReplyDelete