Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Dear Chick Fil a

Thank you for taking coleslaw off the menu.  For you see, I was eating at Chick Fil a EVERY single week, to get my fix of a chicken sandwich topped with the coleslaw as part of my sandwich. I'd add to that a small waffle fries with Ranch to dunk them in and a drink, figuring I probably spent $400 at Chick Fil a last year. Sure, for the rest of the week I skipped the fast food - this was my treat on a busy workday.

But apparently, people want a Kale salad, to go with the breaded and fried items instead of looking at the meal as a treat. I'm not sure when kale got its own marketing company  but it went from the vegetable that was hard to clean, tough and bitter to the world's greatest superfood almost overnight,

I admit I tried kale, trying a "Paleo" diet to lose the extra 4 holiday pounds. Lean meat, berries and lots of salad, right?  But the end game to that experiment was not the kale in salad which was as fun as a root canal, but the Kale Chips.  Yes, Kale salted and dried in the oven until they were bite-sized little flakes that tasted like dirt (but with natural sea salt!).  No wonder the mastadons died off.  The caveman fed them kale chips.
It's bad enough that when I buy yogurt there's about 55 different kinds including, soy, cow, goat, coconut, Greek, Icelandic, Australian, low fat, non fat, full fat, baby yogurt (seriously, you have to spend twice as much for a brand with a picture of a  baby on it?) Yogurt used to be a 3 second stop to make a selection, now it's harder that buying a dang bra.

But Chick fil a said we wanted kale in our lives. It's hip!  It's healthy! (you can burn extra calories with the gag reflex due to the taste of kale!)

So they gave us the recipe for the coleslaw that had been around since I was in grade school so I could make it at home.  It was then that I realized that in occasionally wanting the beloved foods of my youth, things that simply tasted delicious, instead of worrying about how many anti-oxidants I'm getting at the drive through as I suck down a drink with 87 grams of sugar - I am officially old and no longer the key demographic for hip products..

So Chick fil a -  have fun with the millennials sitting around crunching on their kale salad while they stare intently in their smartphones in case some pop star sent out a Twitter post.

I'll be with my old fart friends, sharing some stories, laughing, drinking a beer and eating THIS.
Because I didn't go to Chick Fil a for my health.

But I appreciate the recipe.

Love  - Brigid

25 comments:

  1. Thank you Brigid, thank you, thank you. I also hate kale, don't like it, never have, never will.

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    1. You are a smart, dear man. Thanks for stopping.

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  2. I so agree w/you on the Kale! Only way I will eat it is if someone else massages it so it is edible in a salad. I WILL . NOT massage my greens. Or, to cook it in soup so it's cooked to death & has lost all bitterness!

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  3. Hipster and millennials gotta mess up everything...and of course all of the single moms who show up at MY local Chik-fil-a with their seven screaming little kids each and just toss them into the play area like socks into a wash machine so that they can all tear up while the moms congregate and dish gossip and eat their kale salads, I guess.

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  4. How hard is it to buy a bra?

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    1. It's getting them to fit properly. I'm a 38 D. I can buy four different 38 D bras and one will fit and three won't. They need some standard measuring system such as the IHS (Illinois Handful Standard) or something. But I'm tired of paying $40 for a piece of lingerie in my correct size that's either too small or I can use to protect the front bumper of my car or make a slingshot for a Farmall.

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    2. Try finding 32 C or D anywhere. Ugh. And don't get me started on Demi cups.

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  5. Sigh, 'health'... It's going to kill us in the end...

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  6. I'm pretty sure Kale was not meant to be eaten,ever. Far as I can tell it's only applicable virtue is in the making bug repellent...

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  7. My wife & younger daughter consume kale with almost every meal. Never understood the attraction, myself; it's akin to eating lawn clippings.

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  8. Lots of kale is grown in WA and OR, and Chick Fil A is probably playing politics trying to push west out of Boise into those markets. Two words: weed munchies.

    When we left Vancouvastan, the city council was shaking down Chick Fil A over a permit application. I think the circus is still going on nearly two years later.

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  9. I agree 1000%
    The coleslaw was the best item on the menu other than a fried chicken breast. We used to stop and get a container of the coleslaw to take home and eat with other foods like fish.
    Kale is a demon plant, greenhouse grown in hell along with seaweed. It's in the same food group as assorted mouse droppings.

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  10. Kale? Bleh. I'd much rather have some collards... cooked with a healthy, tasty helping of hamhock or country ham & bacon grease in the pot.

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  11. Forget the "health food", most of it tastes like crap anyhow. Eat what you want and die like a man, or woman, as applicable. :)

    Merle

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  12. They are easing us in, preparing us for lettuce wrapped, steamed, Chickpea burgers. : (

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  13. But did they give you the biscuit recipe? (I hear they are to die for...)
    No Chik-fil-A nearby. With a poor car, never been.


    gfa

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    1. Their biscuits are good. The nearest restaurant to me is 30 minutes away, but I'd still go for the spicy chicken and cole slaw but I'm not going for just the biscuits, because mine are just as good I think.

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  14. Nice crispy pan-fried kale makes up for a lot of the other recent excesses of the kale fad. It's easy, takes minutes, and involves olive oil and garlic; what could possibly go wrong?

    All the usual recipe sites have recipes, which could fit on a matchbook cover, although some go on at greater length and have pictures of what success looks like:
    http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/panfried-kale/

    I might try this one, with cilantro:
    http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/guy-fieri/crispy-kale-recipe.html

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    1. Thanks for the links - I met Pioneer Woman before she went all famous and swear by her lasagna recipe. She's really a sweet lady.

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  15. I spent a couple of my high school years working for Chick-fil-A, one of the top performing stores in the country at the time, and miss those days of grazing(quality control) on the victuals during a shift, lol...

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  16. and i thought i was the only one who smashed slaw on my chicken samich coleslaw you will be missed

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  17. They call them superfoods, but none wear capes and have yet to vanquish any evil doers.

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  18. I hate cole slaw. But I totally get your point. My kids liked the grilled cheeses sandwiches at Applebee's. Not my kind of place, but if the kids are happy, I'll get by. And then one day, the Patty Melt was no longer on the menu. Never mind they have everything needed to make it, waiter says no. Asked for the "Chef". He says no. So we left and never went back. And I haven't missed them a bit. Wait. I kinda miss the Maple Butter Blondie...

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  19. Love your blog, but have said that before...Now, who doesn't like bacon...fry a little up, drain almost all the grease, throw in some chopped onion and your kale...and it is yummy...even my husband will eat kale that way....but I get your point about the coleslaw on the sammie....it's just so wrong the hipsters mess it up for us cool chicks! Shame on em for 30 minutes!

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