Monday, August 29, 2016
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Friday, August 26, 2016
Bacon Jam - Your New Addiction
After a long work day and no desire to make a five course meal, a grilled cheese is easy. But how about adding a leftover fried chicken thigh and homemade bacon jam made with your favorite hot sauce?
1 lb smoked bacon, sliced into small pieces (or use regular bacon and liquid smoke)
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1 medium brown onion, sliced
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon hot sauce - I used my favorite from
1 lb smoked bacon, sliced into small pieces (or use regular bacon and liquid smoke)
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1 medium brown onion, sliced
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon hot sauce - I used my favorite from
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar (I use Braggs)
1/4 cup pure maple syrup (not the additive laden cheap grocery store"maple like" syrup)
cracked black pepper (to taste)
Extra water (see directions)
Directions.
In a non stick pan, fry the bacon in batches until lightly browned and beginning to crisp.
Fry the onion and garlic in the rendered bacon fat on medium heat until translucent.
Transfer the bacon, onion and garlic into a heavy based cast iron pot and add the rest of the ingredients except for the water.
Simmer for 2 hours adding 1/4 of a cup of water every 25-30 minutes or so and stirring.
When ready, cool for about 15-20 minutes and then place in a food processor. Pulse for 2-3 seconds so that you leave some texture to the “jam”,
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Sunday, August 21, 2016
No Step
We have successfully ripped out the back steps (the first floor sits on top of a walk out basement) and will be assembling the new ones, so blogging will be light until tomorrow night or Tuesday. The old steps (which were no longer structurally sound) went straight down to the drive which made putting them inside a fence impossible, given the layout of the drive, yard and garage. The new ones will go back 90 degrees into the yard (with a landing) so the fence can go in that allows doggie direct access to the yard in bad weather.
It's been a learning experience. I've learned Partner in Grime is pretty darn good at construction. And I learned that I'm pretty good at making sandwiches. See you all later!
It's been a learning experience. I've learned Partner in Grime is pretty darn good at construction. And I learned that I'm pretty good at making sandwiches. See you all later!
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Packin' Heat - Sausage Omelette with Scoville Brothers Hot Sauce
I will never master the perfect restaurant omelette that looks like an Origami Master assembled it but I can make one that TASTES a whole lot better.
This is the basic omelette, enough to feed two.
8 ounces kielbasa, sliced and cooked
6 large eggs
2 Tablespoons milk
salt/pepper
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon Scoville Brothers Heavy Metal heat (to taste)
pinch of dry mustard
I added a couple tablespoons of chopped red pepper and a tiny bit of spinch which was leftover from salad last night - optional
1 Tablespoon unsalted butter
a generous 1/3 cup smoked Gouda
Some tips:
Soak the eggs for 5 minutes in hot (not scalding) water. This will help the omelette cook faster and the faster it cooks the more tender it will be.
Use butter instead of olive oil in the pan, letting the pan heat 2-3 minutes before adding a teaspoon or two of butter per serving (this recipe serves two). Use basting brush to even coat the bottom of your pan.
When you've mixed up the egg with milk so yolk and white are incorporated (without whipping them into froth) throw in some fresh herbs such as basil or chives, or some leftover spinach or peppers for a little color and flavor
Think outside the box as far as ingredients. Instead of the standard ham and onion and cheddar I made this omelette with leftover cooked Kielbasa and smoked Gouda (1 to 2 ounce per two eggs).
My favorite tip. Add a 1/4 teaspoon of hot sauce to the beaten eggs, more if you like it extra spicy. For Omelettes I love Heavy Metal Heat from
It's a Ghost Pepper Sauce and their hottest but it has a surprising depth that really makes the Range recipes sing. If you are a "chili head" you will LOVE this sauce. For a milder taste, try the new Cowboy Crooner, we use that on our scrambled eggs with tortillas (migas) all the time.
Order it online or visit their Peck O'Peppers Gallery (for food, spices and work by local artists) at
702 Indiana Avenue. #9
Kouts, IN 46347
That's just south of Valporaiso, an easy drive from Illinois or Central Indiana.
It's located between the new Gauntlet Gun Shop and
Cross Saber Custom Gunsmithing
World's best hot sauce located between two nice gun businesses, if you need a sign you have to visit that is it!
Now for cooking your omelette - add eggs, stirring briskly with a silicone spatula for five seconds on on medium to medium high heat. As soon as the "curds" form so it's looking a bit like scrambled eggs, lift the pan and tilt it around until the extra liquid pours off the top of the curds and into the pan. Use a spatula to shape the edge into a round and make sure the omelette doesn't stick. Sprinkle on any cheese you may use Now walk away You heard me. This tip is from Alton Brown and it works. Let your omelette sit unaccosted for 10 seconds to it can develop the proper outer crust. If it needs a bit more time to cook though, depending on size, do so, but don't mess with it any more.
To finish, shake the pan gently to make sure the omelette is indeed free of the pan. This is the part where you normally fold it over to get the perfect shape. I usually fail at this so I just tip it all onto my plate.
Doesn't that look better than a bowl of Special K?
This is the basic omelette, enough to feed two.
8 ounces kielbasa, sliced and cooked
6 large eggs
2 Tablespoons milk
salt/pepper
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon Scoville Brothers Heavy Metal heat (to taste)
pinch of dry mustard
I added a couple tablespoons of chopped red pepper and a tiny bit of spinch which was leftover from salad last night - optional
1 Tablespoon unsalted butter
a generous 1/3 cup smoked Gouda
Some tips:
Soak the eggs for 5 minutes in hot (not scalding) water. This will help the omelette cook faster and the faster it cooks the more tender it will be.
Use butter instead of olive oil in the pan, letting the pan heat 2-3 minutes before adding a teaspoon or two of butter per serving (this recipe serves two). Use basting brush to even coat the bottom of your pan.
When you've mixed up the egg with milk so yolk and white are incorporated (without whipping them into froth) throw in some fresh herbs such as basil or chives, or some leftover spinach or peppers for a little color and flavor
Think outside the box as far as ingredients. Instead of the standard ham and onion and cheddar I made this omelette with leftover cooked Kielbasa and smoked Gouda (1 to 2 ounce per two eggs).
My favorite tip. Add a 1/4 teaspoon of hot sauce to the beaten eggs, more if you like it extra spicy. For Omelettes I love Heavy Metal Heat from
It's a Ghost Pepper Sauce and their hottest but it has a surprising depth that really makes the Range recipes sing. If you are a "chili head" you will LOVE this sauce. For a milder taste, try the new Cowboy Crooner, we use that on our scrambled eggs with tortillas (migas) all the time.
Order it online or visit their Peck O'Peppers Gallery (for food, spices and work by local artists) at
702 Indiana Avenue. #9
Kouts, IN 46347
That's just south of Valporaiso, an easy drive from Illinois or Central Indiana.
It's located between the new Gauntlet Gun Shop and
Cross Saber Custom Gunsmithing
World's best hot sauce located between two nice gun businesses, if you need a sign you have to visit that is it!
Now for cooking your omelette - add eggs, stirring briskly with a silicone spatula for five seconds on on medium to medium high heat. As soon as the "curds" form so it's looking a bit like scrambled eggs, lift the pan and tilt it around until the extra liquid pours off the top of the curds and into the pan. Use a spatula to shape the edge into a round and make sure the omelette doesn't stick. Sprinkle on any cheese you may use Now walk away You heard me. This tip is from Alton Brown and it works. Let your omelette sit unaccosted for 10 seconds to it can develop the proper outer crust. If it needs a bit more time to cook though, depending on size, do so, but don't mess with it any more.
To finish, shake the pan gently to make sure the omelette is indeed free of the pan. This is the part where you normally fold it over to get the perfect shape. I usually fail at this so I just tip it all onto my plate.
Doesn't that look better than a bowl of Special K?
Monday, August 8, 2016
Thought for the Day
Equality is about giving everyone an equal chance,
NOT about giving everyone an equal result.
- Unknown
NOT about giving everyone an equal result.
- Unknown
Sunday, August 7, 2016
Bearish for a Burger
Got a trip planned to Chicago's Brookfield Zoo? It's a fun place to visit - we go a couple of times a year. But what if you are hungry as a bear afterward?
Burger Colony on Ogden Avenue in Brookfield, IL. Whether you're on the way to the zoo or heading up to O'Hare to pick up or drop off someone - it's only a few miles East of the Wisconsin 294 tollway and worth a quick detour and stop if you are hungry.
Burger Colony is homed in the cozy former home of Chicago Burgerwurks which closed leaving many folks in the Western Burbs craving a good burger again. Burger Colony is a whole new business that opened in winter. having leased and totally renovated the Burgerwurks building. A short lived management change in March (with menu change to quicker and easier) resulted in a loss of business so the original manager came back with his special seasonings and hand cut fries and back and better than ever. This project is "his baby" and he and his gourmet burger chef, Bilal Beniomar, are back in action.
part of the new menu from their Facebook page
Their specialties are burgers but they also have the famous Chicago dogs, prepared a number of ways, salad, homemade sloppy joes, chicken sandwiches and tenders and two vegetarian offerings which the locals tell me are great. They have a counter with eats in front or you can eat outside on the picnic table. It's a small place, look for the small bright yellow building on the south corner of Ogden across the street from Phoenix Liquor and Brookfield Eye Care. They are also happy to serve up orders to go if you don't want to eat in.
Last time we stopped Partner in Grime had the Hawaiian burger with flame grilled pineapple rings, Swiss cheese and teriyaki sauce on an artisan bun.
Today he had the Cuban burger, a rift on a Cuban sandwich (which he loves). It had smoked ham, lots of melty cheese, lettuce, onion, pickle and ranch dressing. The basket hides how tall this was, it was a very nice sized sandwich.
I had a special today, a double cheeseburger I ended up bringing half of it home in a "to go" box but it was incredible, dressed simply with lots of cheese, fresh lettuce, a tomato (I declined onion and pickle) and "colony sauce" on the artisan buns (seriously if I could buy a bag of these buns somewhere I'd be happy - (maybe I can bribe Will with brownies to tell me where he gets them).
The fries are worth the trip, hand cut then flash fried, they are crispy on the outside, soft in the middle and don't taste like they lived their previous life in a freezer as most food chain fries taste like. Plus they're not at all greasy like the tasty but messy Five Guys fries. I don't normally even LIKE fries but these are wonderful.
Even better - we had more food than we could finish, plus large drinks for about $10 per person, not bad for a meal cooked from scratch and not nuked and handed out a window to you.
Grrrrr, I wanted a Colony Burger!
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Lessons from a Rimfire
I thought of it today, the sun shining but the clouds piling up, a rumble from the West, aware as to the possibility of lightning.. As I pulled in the drive, eager to get the truck under cover due to the chance of hail I watch "The Lightning Rod Family" down the street, don their helmets, kids included and leave their driveway to go riding off towards a horizon the color of a cast iron skillet.
It's easy to judge events and individuals in hindsight as armchair warriors are wont to do. But there's not one of us here that has not ignored that bit of unease. Taken that risk. Yet we managed to come home safely through simply chance or excess airspeed, having reached that place where the locomotion of a disinterested world accelerates just before that terminal precipice, only to quietly turn away from the edge.
If we are lucky, we learn.
That is why I'm always always surprised when I go to the outdoor range during the winter months and it's totally deserted.
Perhaps it's just the way I look at things. Shooting as not just recreation, a sport to hone the skills of hand and mind, or to hunt, but as a survival tool.
There are always excuses as to why not train to proficiency. Money, time, family, weather. Some are valid, many are not. You don't have to necessarily practice with the heavy iron. I regularly shoot with a favorite little Ruger rimfire pistol to improve my skills, stance and sight picture. I could shoot a whole ammo can of .22 for the cost of two or three boxes of .good quality 45 (assuming I can find some).

I love the Ruger .22. It's easy to load and use. After I'd fired a few boxes through it, it didn't misfeed. I can shoot it all day for the cost of an hour with something else. Yet it's often overlooked in the great mall ninja discussions of 9 mm, .40 and .45 loads, relegated to the kiddie table in the kitchen at gatherings of gunnies. Don't think that way.
Is it what I carry for self defense? No. But .22 is more than a way to gently introduce someone to shooting, and it's a great way to keep your own defense skills honed when, due to ammo cost or availability, you might otherwise let them slide. Think .22 rimfire will be too easy? Try setting out some targets at 30-50 yards with a crosswind, and your hands freezing cold (no gloves). See how well you do. See how much you learn about ballistics and windage. Not everyone who wants to harm you you is going to stand still, 15 feet away wearing a T shirt with a circle on it, waiting until your warm hand can pull the trigger.
Certainly you want to be familiar with the operation and controls of any firearm you carry for self defense but it's not necessarily about the weapon, it's about YOU, and how you react to threat. It's what you can do, and how fast you can do it, when danger stirs, not yet more than a whisper in the air, a rumor, like thunder in a late afternoon, striking before you expect it.
One of my favorite books is called Deep Survival by author Laurence Gonzales, which is a scientific look at the human factors of survival. Why does someone with just a certain mindset walk out of a situation, where someone else, better equipped and more physical fit, sits down to wait, and dies. I read through it like I'd been waiting for it for years, and it explained much of what I've seen in my life and work. It tells stories anyone would understand and I've given copies of it to friends and family. It not only educated me, but it confirmed the way I looked at the world.
I grew up in the mountains, learning early on that the wilderness is ill suited for the unprepared. Especially at the higher altitudes. At noon you may see just a few white puffs of cloud, smoke signals to those down below that says, come on up and visit. But they hide in that sweet invite to the unwary, unprovoked bursts of violence. For afternoon storms can suddenly build and sweep, fierce air masses that rise and fall in thundering downdrafts, winds forming into sinews of air, thunderstorms looming in shadow, like the spires of an old hall of Justice. You don't' want to be out in the open when one of those hits.
Moving at night is even more treacherous. Even though the moon may light your path, there in the vast darkness fly great birds in the forms of evening storms and winds that deceive. Night predators looking for the small, the weak, ebony wings beating the air, their cry a clap of thunder as they sought their prey, the careless. One misstep as the wind causes you to close your eyes for just a moment, and you may be sent home on a stretcher, or in a box.
Yet the wilderness will always continue its siren call for those that have learned that in traversing its peaks you will pass beyond the borders of the real world into a realm so quietly elemental that it seems otherworldly. There is nothing quite like setting up a small base camp in the mountains, sitting in the dark with a mug of tea while points of lightning struck in the distance, cleaving the atmosphere, separating water and air, pointing out this life of separateness I lead. A journey of shadow and dew, of dreams of light that sparks more than the night, but something within us. It beckons to both the experienced and the naive, as we head outdoors and up, abandoning the drudgery of the cities, repudiating civilizations reaching fingers, as we ascend into a lovers smile of radiant light, flirting with nature.
It's hard to resist. The nights quiet freedom around a campfire, the day's flaws hidden in the ebony of velvet night. Waking up to a new day of exploration. The high mountain air was a substance whose ethereal beauty so entranced me that on those long hikes alone, I had to remind myself to check my bearings and the time, as I knew that getting lost out there might be deadly.
For when your soul is entranced it is easy to go down a path you otherwise would not have, sometimes with consequences you never foresee. It doesn't have to be the woods or the desert, it can be a job, it can be the desire for a possession, it can be a relationship, those directions we take with the best of intentions that lead to a path overgrown with dark roots, sunk deep, that grab at your ankles as you try and decide which way to go to save yourself, with nothing to guide you but the unrelenting earth, discomposing and harsh.
It can happen to the most experienced of people. The trail disappears, the sky goes dark with a sudden turn in the weather, clouding familiar landmarks. You set out with the best of intentions when the small frayed tether between you and civilization is broken. Even in familiar territory, it can happen. The Boy Scouts say "be prepared" for a reason. If you can't take some minor preparations to provide for and protect yourself if something unexpected happens, you need to stay home. Being "lost" may not kill you, but being without shelter, food, and needed medical attention will.

Prepare for change, especially the weather. The weather now may not be the weather in 8 hours. Look at the forecast. In the wilderness, trust the weather forecast in the summer like you would a politician. Trust the weather forecast in the winter like that "looking for the love of my life" guy on Match.com with the wedding ring, hook for a right hand and eye patch.
Wear clothing in layers, peel them off as the temperature dictates, but you'll have them if you need them. Resist the urge to not take something worthy of "overnight warmth" because you're not planning on being out all night. The wild notwithstanding, don't travel with a light or no jacket in the winter just because you're going from your sheltered parking garage to directly into your garage at home. A few years back a few motorists in Colorado died for that very reason.
Carry a compass, they're small and take little space. Always have matches and a lighter. Keep them dry. I took a course in survival where we were given a scenario that we'd been in a helicopter crash (bad weather, mountains) and had only a dozen items available from the crash scene. We had to rank them in order of their use. The match/lighter was my first pick. If you get hypothermia, the map, aspirin, Spam and string won't help, but they'll have their uses.
Shelter, warmth, water. You can get by for a surprisingly long time with just those. Always bring more water than you think you will drink and drink what you need to stay hydrated. Refill the bottle(s) if able. Don't consume snow, it takes away body heat and may cause internal cold injuries. Take a small metal cup or tin to melt snow for drinking by your fire. When ice is available, melt it before snow. A cup of ice yields more water than a cup of snow.
If you don't want to post your schedule at a ranger station, tell a neighbor, family or a friend where you are going and when you will be back. A simple phone call you can keep a short outing from being permanent.
Carry a whistle, the sound will carry if someone is looking for you. But remember, it won't work on a rapist in the woods any better than it will work on one in a deserted parking lot at 2 a.m. Pack a small flashlight or take a headlamp and always extra bulbs/batteries for light or a signal. A knife is a must, no matter how short of a trip, even a small one or Swiss Army style, is better than nothing. Good quality blades don't have to cost an arm and a leg.
If signaling for help, select a site close to your shelter such as a clearing, shoreline or hilltop, where visibility is good. A search will probably start from your last known location and sweep over your proposed route. During the day, you could also use a signal mirror, your belt buckle, any shiny device can work. If you are using a fire to signal, and not just for warmth, build three fires in a triangle or in a straight line about 100 feet apart. Three fires is a recognized distress signal. Stay put if you know others will be aware you are missing and in what general area. Have a bright piece of clothing to wear or use as a signal, bright colors show up well against the snow.
As for shelter, you'd be surprised what you can do with just a poncho and a few bungee cords. Lacking that, there is a whole forest full of building material provided you start before dark. Sticks, logs, stones, leaves and even moss. Build against another object, like a felled tree, rock face, etc., creating a sturdy base with movable stones or logs. Insulate all but one peephole with moss, leaves, mud or snow to retain and hold in the heat from your own body.
If dark is fast approaching, look for natural shelters, such as the large spreading roots of a tree, the hollow on the leeward side of a log or fallen boughs that are sturdy or can be lashed together to reinforce them. Branches can form a lean-to or extra cover, leaves on top can help shed rain. If you have no time for even this, seek shelter in a ditch or behind something, out of the wind. bedding down on dry materials to keep the ground from sapping your heat (aren't you glad you brought your coat and hat? )
Few people think about survival, beyond having money for cable. They don't think about a peek at the updated weather when they're only driving 40 miles. They don't think "I should have gone to the range more" until they hear the crack of wood as the front door of their home is broken down. Look at the victims of violence who, by force or choice, remained defenseless, or stand on the side of the mountain and gaze at a young couple dead, not from the accident, which was survivable, but from simply not having warm clothing or survival gear because it was just a day trip. Both scenes will equally haunt your sleep.
I don't spend my day in fear's blind crush, that breath-stealing conviction that things are always going to be worse. But I am prepared for the transgressions against my safety for which the only penance may be the discharge of lead. For I'm well aware that on any given day, there is no guarantee that when we breathe out we're going to breathe back in again.
I like to lay the odds in my favor, which is why, in addition to knowing basic outdoor survival, I know the basics of survival in small country town or big city.
I carry a firearm. I also carry the mindset that I can use it, and I will use it, without hesitation or fear, if necessary to protect my life.
Mindset is everything. Anxiousness can be replaced by calm, and even when a challenging situation occurs, often fluid as nature, there's usually a way around it, if you keep your head. If you can keep calm, you have more options, ones that can keep you safe and renew your faith. Not a blind faith that all will be well, that feeling has been the death of more than one intrepid weekend warrior, but the faith that gives us the courage to venture onward, to fight back. You will have the blessed understanding that although nothing is fixed, as long as you are breathing and have a few basic tools that you know how to use, you can survive more than you know.
Whether I am in the woods or walking alone across a dark parking lot, my gun is beside me, tangible and honest and real. Like all the tools I use, if I care for it and treat it right, it will not fail me; it's an affirmation of trust in a web of iron and wood. The slap of my gun against my hip as I stride deeper away into the trees or across fields of pavement is a constant, like the sound of a beating heart to a baby, comfort in the dark.
Some say we are safe in our nation's parks, just as they say we should be safe in small town America. Despite the country setting, and red white and blue speckled mailboxes, there is no truly safe place anymore, especially for a woman. Though there are certainly more crimes where more people live or where the the law-abiding are disarmed, the heart of evil roams equally at will through asphalt and country roads. Predators are among us, watching from a line at the corner market, waiting in the darkness of a rural parking lot or that untraveled, unbeaten path. Waiting for that sign, that manner, that tells them that you are un-toothed and un-fanged, a soft and vulnerable target.
When the day is done, I stop and set up camp for the night; with darkness coming down, I know it's not safe to continue. I might be in a tent in the wilderness. I might be alone in a small home, readying a fire to keep me warm. I ready my safety, and set my fire, looking down at the cord of muscle in my hands, strong yet delicate, holding the match, precious source of warmth, buried deep in my jacket. That one inch piece of sulfur tipped wood will last longer than memory or grief, its flame, so tiny, one bright flash in the darkness, is fiercer than bravery or regret. I have my tools. I have courage and will. I have found my own means of deep survival. It is within me, where it was all along.
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
Baconomics

For a new reader, he'll know who he is. Forget Trump. Forget Hillary - let us look at political systems themselves in a way we ALL can understand.
FEUDALISM: You have bacon. The lord comes and takes the bacon. And your last pig. You get a potato.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have some bacon. Your neighbor does not. The government takes your bacon and gives it to the neighbor. You have to take a second job to bring home the bacon so you can continue to supply the non working neighbor with your bacon.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have some bacon. The government takes half of it to give to the neighbor with none. The bacon is then managed by a Bacon Czar with a large staff. The Bacon Czar is a vegan. With the ensuing paperwork, and the latent inability of the Bacon Czar to actually handle the bacon, the bacon goes bad and is thrown out.
FASCISM: You have a little bit of bacon. The government takes it, and offers to sell you the oink.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have bacon. Your neighbor works to help you get more bacon and you share in it, even though he eats twice as much as you and does half the amount of work.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have bacon. The government takes it and gives you a potato.
DICTATORSHIP: You have bacon. The government takes it and drafts you. You get MRE's. They do not contain bacon.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have bacon. You vote with your neighbors as to how your bacon should be protected.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have some bacon. You elect someone to vote on how best to ensure you get more bacon.
LIBERAL SOCIETY: You don't like bacon so I don't get any.
BUREAUCRACY: You have bacon. The government makes a new food pyramid that tell you when you should eat the bacon and how often. It then pays you not to eat the bacon and takes it and throws it away, after you have filled out a form to pay your bacon tax for the bacon that you no longer have.
CALIFORNIA BUREAUCRACY: In California, bacon contains nitrates and fats that may be bad for people who have no willpower. So no one gets bacon.
PROGRESSIVISM: You have bacon. The government takes it and gives you a receipt.
ANARCHY: You have bacon. You try and sell the bacon to others so you survive or others with big pointy things simply take the bacon and kill you.
MONARCHY: We have bacon because you love us and want us to have bacon. Smile. Wave.
CAPITALISM: You have bacon. Strengthened by bacon, you work harder and buy a whole damn pig.
MUCH OF THE MIDDLE EAST: Bacon is unclean. Die infidel.
MAOISM - We are Urban Working Class. What is bacon??
Who wants a piece of your pie??
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Memories of Barkley - Always Up To Something
When we adopted Abby from Lab Rescue she was a very thin, and timid, and an absolutely QUIET dog. She filled out and is much more playful and she's learned to bark a big woof of warning at any unknown vehicle parked in front of our house, any delivery person, etc. She's constantly looking out to make sure all the residents, animal and human, are obeying the law and behaving themselves.
Unlike Barkley - Barkley was not the unofficial neighborhood police dog . . . He was the PERP.
Hit and run
Shoplifting
No that's just wrong, not on the FLOWERS!
Theft
Vandalism
Peeping Tom
Sexual Harassment
Attempted burglary

STALKING
With my sock - that's Aggravated Stocking
Don't let me tell you a third time!
Sausage lasagna buns. Sorry Mom, that sandwich is
was crime and I had to confiscate it.
Grand Theft Bucket
Littering
Not Being Able to Handle Your Licker
Impeding Traffic
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