Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Posts from the Road - Christmas Lists

A Christmas List was always a tradition in our household growing up.  We did not get everything on it and never expected to, perhaps just one or two things on there.  But it gave "Santa" an idea of what we wanted.  Sometimes "Santa" branched out.  There was one Christmas where our entire Socking was full of bubble gum.  Mom seriously learned to regret that one.  And then there were the Whamo Air Blasters for all (which was almost as much as fun as when we swapped out the "dual heat controls" on Mom and Dad's waterbed.)

But for those of you, not used to the tradition, it can continue on  in your own home.  I've supplied an updated, easy to use template so you can make your own Christmas List for your own "Santa".

Dear Santa,

I've been very _______ this year, despite the mishap involving bacon _______  and that ____ that resulted in an emergency trip to the ______.  As for that __________ incident at the conservation club, I can explain (it WAS Russian ammo).

I have prepared ______ and a bottle of _______ as a snack for your arrival and have ensured my Christmas Stocking is free of pet hair, lint and razor wire shards of candy cane. So I hope you will remember me when you are in your workshop ramping up the North Pole Elfinator™ Five Stage Press in .223 or .45.

Remember, when you arrive, there will be _______ and deer heads on the walls, but I see by the non-faux fur on your Santa Suit you're not afraid of _______, ________ OR PETA.

It's not that I didn't appreciate the Attack Spider Pecker Repellent or the Marie Antoinette Action Figure with eject-able head but I was hoping for something along the lines of __________ and _________ this year, or something in full auto.

I promise Barkley won't ______ your sled this year, and we'll move the skeet shoot to earlier in the evening.

Thank you for visiting. Please be aware that there will be a prominant Nativity Scene to navigate around, as, no offense, it's not all about you.

Best regards,


  1. I dare say that I will still be laughing about the Marie Antoinette Action Figure with Ejectable Head well into the New Year.

    Definitely will borrow (steal) the letter to Santa template. Priceless!

  2. Now that was funny! 'Hope Santa treat you really well this Christmas!

    Phyllis (N/W Jersey)

  3. "I'm 31 years old, Dad. I don't have a Christmas list."

    "I DO!"

  4. Oh man, I was filling in the blanks as I went along... Bad, bad... :-)

  5. I liked the Marie Antoinette Action Figure, but was afraid to look if they had a John Bobbitt Action Figure...

  6. Whamo Air Blaster was the cat's asterisk. Thank you very muchly for the remembering.

  7. I may or may not steal, uh, borrow said letter format.


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