Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Woof If You're Not a Morning Person

My phone or alarm sometimes goes off very early.  I also don't know when I'll get a chance to eat, depending on how the day goes.  You'd think the years I made a living as a pilot would make it easier, but it doesn't.

There's a homemade sandwich if there's time, but many days, it's just some yogurt, some fruit and some Rye Crisp or a crunchy cookie or two. Whatever I can grab with my eyes half closed and stuff in my metal lunchbox with a chill pack from the freezer door and bottled water in the bat truck.
We all like our crunchy little treats. These are mine. Yes, they have sugar and probably trans fats, but I love my Dare cookies to munch on or dunk in a cup of coffee.  These aren't quite as tasty as the maple cream ones, but they hold up during travel over bumpy roads in the truck.  But even the few in the box that end up broken are still lunch box worthy.

Barkley has his favorite little crunchy treats as well.  He gets the Healthy Radiance dog food (a Hoosier company) for his meals.  But he loves the little Iams dog biscuits and always gets one just before bed, if he goes out and does his business without barking at the Chiweenie and the Doodleman Pincsher (and their two mixed breed dogs) down the street.

I'd best not make a trip to the store and not come back with some if the box is empty.
If Barkley could talk he'd say . . .

"Get the one in the box with the fruit bat on the front"

(Uh, Barkley, that's a dog, they're just not all as rugged looking as you).

If wasn't until I reorganised my kitchen to have things easier to get to at bedtime and at o'dark hundred that I noticed how similar the boxes looked in color and size. That's not a green color you see every day.
It's 3 a.m. Time to get up, to grab and go (3 hours sleep, I can do 3 hours of sleep).  Barkley didn't even get up to eat his food. But I better take some, maybe not for now, but I will need a little energy later at work.
Oh. . . . crap. . .


  1. That's not morning, it's still night then. I get up at 6 but in the winter I naturally wake up at 2am and put wood in the furnace then back to sleep, it does make for a long winter.

  2. ROTFLMAO! Even if you're just pulling our leg with that, it's too funny.


  3. Good one. One of the BIL's ate a whole bowl of Dog jerky before any of us could stop laughing long enough to tell him...

  4. I thought I was crazy getting up at 0dark middle of the night. Welcome to the club

  5. Aw, c'mon! The dog treats won't hurt you...

    You should compensate Barkley by leaving a pair of your unmentionables
    (I know he likes them) someplace easy to find) in trade!


  6. It seems we might have some more commonality. Only... Perhaps I shouldn't... say this, but... Have you... ever tried them? Dog food, and I presume treats, in the US, or for our markets, is... human quality, as if that matters. Probably more savory than sweet, but.

    I'm not so much not a morning person as not a day person though, but close enough. *poof*

  7. Three a.m. is an impossible hour from which to wake ... we've all tried it a time or two.

    I guess if you're hungry enough, you can eat anything. :)

  8. Sunnybrook Farm. I don't have a fireplace, the only thing I don't like about the house.

    Monkeywrangler - got you to smile, didn't I. Say, I got a nice note from your friend that had the fundraiser for brain cancer. Tell her thanks!

    Brighid - 20 years ago, I used to have one of those little potpourri simmerer things, but it broke so I put the potpourri in a tiny ceramic saucepan on the back burner to freshen the house before going to bed. Drunk and disorderly spousal unit came rolling in late (it was a crap shoot whether he came home at all), and I hear him bustling around the kitchen. He comes in the living room, his face all puckered up and said "B. that soup you made tastes like (*@#!

    You think the fact that it was pink and had little pine cones in it would be a give away. :-)

    armedlaughing - needs salt.

    Doom - Some of it, I dare say, is BETTER than some people food you can buy.

    Rev Paul - I've had a couple of those mornings lately

  9. 0600?? I worked the 2300 to 0700 the last 20 years, and my puppy would only eat peanut butter cookies from Omaha Steaks.

  10. Sorry, that reminded me of one of the Lethal Weapon movies where one of the characters started eating dog biscuits when trying to quit smoking.

    At least you didn't try them on purpose.

    Bon appetite.

  11. Snicker-giggling at the potpourri story. That couldn't have gone better if you had planned it that way.

    In a normal world for me, I'd be heading to sleep at 3 am. I've always been a night person, literally since birth. Every now and then I try to switch it around and become a morning person - never really works well. I love sunrises, too - they have a calmness unlike any other time of a day. But in order to see them I have to stay up, not wake up.

    Your lunchbox is cool. Even with the wrong treats inside it. LOL

  12. The only way you could know that is... That's my girl! Woot! or... Woof! :)

  13. Been up over an hour already. Just finished 3 gluten-free waffles and a cuppa. Yup, morning guy here. The cats think I got up to feed them, but it's too dark out yet for me to "see" them.

  14. Well, if you're going to make no bones about it...

    The only member of this household that is awake at 3am is the cat. (We wish she wouldn't be.) Even if we're up and moving, we're not awake.

    The fact that I am posting this at 4:15am has nothing to do with wakefulness, and everything to do with a nervous system that kicked into gear six hours after the mocha was drunk, and said "Oh! Hey! You had coffee because you were tired! Wakey wakey!"

  15. Ugh. Hope you found a vending machine with something more palatable. ;)

    I'm up at 3:15 every morning to commute to the Bay Area and get to work by 6:00. I pack my breakfast and lunch the night before so I can just grab the bag out of the fridge and stuff it in my backpack (and I always keep extra snacks in the latter as well). Off work at 14:00, home around 17:00, off to bed at 21:00. Lather, rinse, repeat.

    It does get a little easier if you have to do it all the time instead of just occasionally. Not liking it much anymore, though. :( And I have to keep getting up that early on weekends too or else I'm toast on Monday mornings.

  16. I am not a morning person.
    I agree with Barkley.


    At one point in my life, I worked a 7-4 shift. This was great in that it meant that I'd get off work when I was at my best, but not so hot in that I had to, well, be at work at an hour which I considered to be positively indecent.

    I was also cursed with a coworker who was both a Perky! Morning! Person!, worked the same shift as I, and was a complete and total moron. She never did learn to wait until I'd had that first cup of coffee to walk into my cubicle and announce things like "I think I deleted my computer desktop," or "The mouse is confusing me again," or "How do I do (incredibly simple two-step task I have shown her daily for the last three months)?" (Yes, she actually said these things.)


    I miss some of the things and people at that job, but she isn't high on the list. Neither is the 7AM start time.

  18. Heh.

    That was just great!

    I gotta admit that I am a morning person. Up between 3 or 4am and work out 6 days a week. Thats how I get my day started.

    After that, I can have my first morning cup of joe.


  19. Blogger Mrs. S. said...

    "Sorry, that reminded me of one of the Lethal Weapon movies where one of the characters started eating dog biscuits when trying to quit smoking.
    {...} Bon appetite."

    Or bone appetite, as the case may be!

    Thank you -- you've been an audience and I really mean that!

    Pet-food-company lawyers are doubtless sweating into their Armani suits to think of it, but I suspect that the average middle-class USAmerican pet has a safer and more nutritious diet than most of the people in the world.

    Of course, that's damning it with faint praise, besides which, most dogs and certainly cats like things a bit... *riper* than most of us two-leggers. In particular, the more expensive the cat food, the more it looks and smells like, uh, what's a nice way to put this? -- pâté de foie mortalités anciens par collisions routières.

    The subject of eating cat food as a retiree seems to have come up politically in the last year or two, as it has about once a generation for a long time -- most notably (if memorably serves) in the ca. 1982-3 timeframe of the Greenspan Commission and the Reagan/O'Neill compromise on Social Security. (Or was it a few years earlier? I recall that it became quite a pop culture trope for a while, at a time when inflation was high and people were worried about its erosive effect on fixed incomes, and talk of entitlements reform was in the air...)

    And then there was one of Jerzy Kosinski's characters, a newish immigrant to the US, proudly explaining to his guests that the secret to his meatloaf was the especially savory canned meat with the picture of the smiling dog on the label...

  20. I am absolutely a morning person. I get home from work in the morning, walk my dog, peruse the blogs...

    and then go to sleep until after noon.


  21. Come on now, you mean you didn't eat the dog treats? LOL

  22. Brigid,

    Are you always able to match the colors of the box of your treats, and Barkley's ? That was impressive.
    Yes, I too am not a morning person. In fact, when my kids were small I worked 3-11:30 pm in a hospital intensive care unit. Was it because I could be in charge and doctors don't make rounds then unless it's an emergency ? Was it because it's less busy generally than in the day ? No, it was due to the fact that I don't really wake up until 11 am, then I make phone calls, clean my house and do set up. I roll into work at quarter to three and then I am my most mentally clear until 11:30pm when I just start to get tired. Then home,a shower, a little tv, decaf tea and out like a light.
    Of course this was bamboozled when the kids became old enough for school and I had to get a job during the daylight hours ! UGH.

  23. I see you haven't answered the single most important questing raised by this:

    How did they taste?

    Once when I had my Mom and Dad and my two brothers over, I put some dog biscuits out (not the bone-shaped kind) along with some ranch dip. My two brothers each ate about 4 of them before I told them what they were. Understand that in my family this kind of thing is considered fair game, especially after the 2nd bottle of whiskey gets opened.

  24. I didn't taste these but I remember tasting a dog biscuit Big Bro fed me. They were chocolate colored and shaped like Hershey's kisses. My brother told me it was candy. I remember chewing on it, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't sweet and then he says "you're eating a dog biscuit! They're made out of horse poop and newspapers!". I went crying to my Mom who looked at me and said "if you're dumb enough to eat something out of a box with a dog on the label just because your brother tells you it's candy, don't come to me for sympathy".

  25. I thought the Fruit bat line was inspired.


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