Saturday, February 8, 2014

Warning - Cape Does Not Enable User to Fly

I saw that warning on a Superman Costume once.  Good advice.

This afternoon the phone rang and it was my friend PA State CopI don't recall if we met professionally or personally, but we go back a while and talk weekly, visiting when he's in the state.  He told he had a chance to meet Old NFO recently and you could hear the grin in his voice.  I've known Old NFO longer than anyone out here, 20 some years, meeting when I hauled him someplace in a plane when I was a pup and didn't kill him. PA was certainly honored to finally get to meet him, but then he just blurted it out "We traded Brigid stories".  Oh no, I can ONLY imagine. :-)

For you see, I like to think of myself as skilled, precise, calm and collected. I can be. I can also NOT be.  Also, people think I am an expert on all kinds of gourmet foods and complicated things, when in fact, I  have eaten more than one can of cold ravioli, and if I designed the US Customs Form it would only read

Check the box if you are bringing in:
Killer Bees
Justin Bieber
We all have our vision of what we would be if things were perfect. But it's not. Sometimes life is complicated and its often messy (and we won't mention Lucas Wiring). You do what you can. Some days, my days are quiet, reflective, words tapped out on a keyboard as the past taps on the  window. Some days, my life is more of an episode of Red Green. 

It started with a bruise the size of Maine on my left hip from the previous day. I don't always get to maneuver on the most level of surfaces and the gear can be bulky and I managed to bust a move the day before. I wasn't as bad as the great spandex blow out of 2009 but I knew, when my foot slipped, that I was going down. I maneuvered to let the hip take the blow, not hands or head. Next thing I know someone is looking at me holding up two fingers asking if I can count. (I said 43 to throw them off). Fortunately the knee and head were fine, the hip took one for the team and it had a 7 inch  bruise to show it at the end of the day.

But I was headed home for 4 days off and it was looking like Barkley could be brought home from the doggie hospital on Monday after some healing time and the proper adjustment of meds. It's just a drive, how hard can that be?  Plus the weather has finally cleared up from that tremendous polar blast that Washington blamed on the previous administration.
I stopped at Accu-cow (Accu-cow says it's #^&* cold!) for Gas. It's not the cheapest gas around, but the place is super clean, with a rest room that's spotless, and usually a few LEO types stopping as well, so it's a safe place to stop and you can get a fresh sub sandwich there as well.

I had on my gloves on, the tight, Mrs. Peale black leather pair that, while  warm and sexy, make me about as dexterous as T-Rex. I was only going to put in about 10 gallons, a bit of business for them in thanks for the use of their facility,  planning on topping off later, when it's cheaper. For some reason, when working the pump nozzle, T -Rex managed to move that little lever that locked the squeeze handle full ON. No! I know it will auto shut off, but I don't want a full tank at today's prices.  OK, move the little level. It's stuck! Frozen, who knows. Off comes the glove and I applied some force on the easy to operate switch 1/2 inch retribution lever and it came unstuck, hard, right into my finger. Owowowowow.

I was walking into the store, the finger throbbing,when I realized I was trailing blood. Apparently if you stick a piece of metal deep into your nail bed, tearing the skin there, it bleeds. A lot. I got it cleaned as best I could in the rest room, the wonderful ladies  that work there putting some Neosporin and a band aid on it, and off I went.
I hoped the rest of the day was going to go better.  I had my usual doubts as I had to navigate that section of highway that goes through Gary. It's not as bad as Detroit. Parts of Detroit makes Gary look like the Epcot Center. But I made it through, with all of the drivers doing 85 to get through there fast, with one accident further on that delayed things but without any fuss. Home. Finally. I get all my stuff out of the Bat Truck, to the porch, then lock the door to the truck.

With the back of my parka closed  in it.  Where I can't move enough to get the key into the door to unlock (before someone says BlondeStar, the automatic locks on this truck have never worked and I was too cheap to have them trouble shot).


I managed to get OUT of the coat, unlock the truck, re-dress and into the house.  The house being cold, myself not much warmer since doing the "Dance of the Seven Veils but in Carthart", in the driveway.  I looked for something to put on til it warms up. Most of the sweaters are down in the laundry room, which is colder than upstairs.  There's a fuzzy blaze orange vest in the coat closet.  Mmmm, Nice and Warm.
It was time for dinner.  I  looked at the 75 year old gas oven. I looked at the book of matches.  I  looked at my finger.  You know, you can cook a heck of a moist pork tenderloin in a vegetable steamer.

Partner in Grime comes home later, sees the finger, sees the bloody gloves and I said "it's even better, let me drop my pants" (a phrase that guys seem to like, but not so much if it's just to see your bruise). He looks at me and grins and says "so, the orange vest, that's not because you're cold, that's a WARNING" and we both laughed.
Today, I've managed to not mangle anything, including breakfast 

But seriously, I don't know WHAT kind of stories PA State Cop and Old NFO could possibly come up with about their Brigid?

You all stay safe now.


  1. You had a time of it! I was cleaning the cellar on Wednesday and managed to stick a sliver of wood( to big to call splinter) up under my thumb nail. Man I would have told all my secrets to get someone to get that thing out but I managed to whip out my multi tool and used the first little blade I could to dig it out. Damn and blasted as the old guys used to say. I managed not to hurt my hip, it is still pretty!

  2. I did not know which was more appropriate - to laugh (which I did ) or say ouch (which I did). “Keep Calm and Call Batman.”

  3. Now my jammed finger feels better. Why?? Because you drew blood. So others have war stories about you?? I would buy 3 pitchers of beer to hear all of them. Evil Grin. I'm sure each and everyone is classified Quadruple TOP SECRET.

  4. I had dinner with PaSC and Old NFO last week at the Cajun Experience in Leesburg, VA. Charming gentlemen, both.

  5. I was also present at the dinner with PA State Cop (neat guy) and Old NFO. Not to tell tales out of school, but the stories about a certain redhead were EPIC!

  6. Was that THE Trigger finger????

    Sorry, but I had more than one giggle reading that. But I hope you got all that klutzyness out of your system for a while now. No more till next year...things come in 3 so you survived em (practically all at once). And yeah, *wince*ow* too.

    No one can tell better Brigid stories than you do -

  7. LOL! And sorry! I have days like that too.

  8. Lemme see your hair again...blond? ;)

  9. OH, if only you knew the Brigid stories with which the Internet is ripe!
    (Just kidding. Really. I don't want to die.)
    Hope the various parts are healing okay.


  10. I'm so glad that you share tales like this! I definitely needed the laugh so thank you very much! Hopefully the rest of the weekend is much less painful for you! Take care!

  11. This entire post made me LOL, but I almost bust a gut at "Dance of the Seven Veils but in Carthart".

    Sorry you're a little beat up, but dang this was a good read.

  12. I can't wait to read the whole series... "The Brigid Chronicles; Vol. 1, 2, & 3"...

    When does the movie come out?

    Dann in Ohio

  13. Your tetanus shot is up to date, right?

    The ladies room at the gas station might be spotless but Lord only knows where that pump nozzle has been. :)

    Next time, a Caf Pow! and munchies might be a safer way to give them business in return for using the facilities. The station makes more money selling the $1.50 drink than they do from 10 gallons of gas.

  14. Before I forget -- go see "The Lego Movie".

    Best movie Batman in a *long* time.

  15. When I was a kid my parents would read stories from the newspaper to me about kids who thought that a cape could enable them to fly; the stories did not have happy endings. Years later I found out that adults could be just as stupid; when I was unpacking the manuals for a new CNC machining center that my employer had purchased. The very first line in the safety manual read, "Don't drink the coolant."

  16. I was also at the table with PA State Cop, Old NFO, and the rest. I can tell you that the Brigid stories I heard were totally G rated. Which is why I am going to schedule a follow up lunch with Old NFO to get the real stories (it turns our worksites are not too far apart).

    Seriously, I discovered your blog and Old NFO's several years ago when I was assigned to our eastern-most territory laboring against terrorist affiliated people who far outnumbered us CT types. Your blogs seemed like my only tenuous link to home at times. For that, you have my gratitude . . . and my loyal readership.

  17. Great post, hope your all better soon. I only laughed a little...because I'm trying to be polite. hugs, Dammit

  18. I really really want to hear about the "Great Spandex Blowout of 2009" please :D

    Umm on those kind of days I immediately start the fire, snuggle up in my comfy chair and watch old movies or read a I can't screw anything else up :)

  19. Sunnybrook Farm - oh, those are the worst. I'd take the cut over a big splinter any day.

    Richard - Yes, and hopefully without Batman's sidekick the Boy Blunder.

    Rob - for 3 pitchers, they'd likely tell.

    Turk Turon - glad you met, they're both like family to me.

    Murphy's Law - I can bribe you with baked goods not to talk :-) Glad you all got to meet up.

    naturegirl - trigger finger? hahahaha. I think I'm good for a couple weeks, getting caught up on sleep at home helps.

    Keads - I didn't burn the pancakes though.

    Skip - I did my undergrad work in the Pacific Northwest, so probably I'm blonde, it just rusted due to all the rain.

    armedlaughing - I do know where you live. :-) We'll talk soon!

    Sarah - thank you, the rest of the weekend has gone well. The usual house chores and building the dog ramp has taken up some of it, and a game or two of cribbage where I managed to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory but did avoid being skunked.

    Borepatch - being able to laugh at yourself definitely helps when things go south.

    Dann - As to the movie, I don't think I need a stunt double, perhaps a rodeo clown.

    Roscoe - Since I get into some sticky and bio hazard like situations, I get immunized for more than Clostridium tetani. But I went and got a booster afterwards, just to be sure.

    Island Bob - and don't use the water in the water fire extinguishers to mix cocktails, a couple young men ended up in the emergency ward some years back for that little stunt.

    Nashville Beat - thanks for dropping a note. Enjoy the lunch with him,I wish I could join in.

    Brighid - tentative but looking like week of March 11, I'll be at Dad's again. Hope you can come over.

    immagikman - you don't want to know. I have well, booty and trying to put it in a cocktail dress designed for a woman that looks like a Slim Jim will defeat even the best of spandex.

  20. Good choice avoiding the gas range that evening, Brigid. It shows wisdom! Hope you had a pleasant weekend with Partner, and that things go well tomorrow with Barkley.

    We are looking at more blech-weather for the next couple days before it brightens up and warms up. Hope your roads stay clear with your trip back to the Range-lite location.

    You probably saw from my Friday blogpost that we too are facing certain challenges here at the casa.
    Give Barley a big hug from me tomorrow, ok?


  21. I like the photo of the TR6 in red. Mine was in a bright yellow and I loved it. It was one of the original 150bhp models before they were downgraded to 125bhp. Never found a hill it couldn't accelerate up.

    Sadly, we sold it in 1986, the day our firstborn son arrived as we couldn't afford both. I think the firstborn became a much more expensive pastime.

  22. Monkeywrangler - I will do that and will drop you a line later tonight.

    Copybookheadings - that vehicle is Miss Madelaine Kahr and that is the Range garage on a warmer day. Thanks for stopping!

  23. 43!! You can bet PA and Old NFO have added a couple of new ones to the repertoire. I cringed all the way thru this. You surely deserved that marvelous-looking stack of pancakes and sausages after all that!

  24. I hope you heal quickly ! You probably do with all that great food ! Best wishes,

  25. Dang, Brigid! Owowowow is right. Man, fingertips have so many nerve endings anything happening to them is tough. Especially when your hands are cold. And if your redhead skin is anything like mine, that bruise will be showing in full living color for a while!

    Your sense of humor is priceless.

    I sure hope Barkley is doing better (!), and will use that ramp. You may need to keep him on a short leash the first few trips down so he doesn't try to jump off (dogs being dogs). That DOES look like a steep set of stairs!

    I am a new comer, but have been reading back in posts. Home Ec caught my eye, yeah, I took it long before you must have. Girls were simply not allowed in shop. I did find a way to circumvent that, though, having been a tool-user since I was very little. I took a sculpture class and learned to use all the power tools AND weld! Yesss! Around the same time I signed up for a first aid class (needed for Junior Ski Patrol) and got thrown out before the first class even started - because I was a girl and I was "*going* to cause trouble"! Imagine that now. Didn't stop me, just made me more recalcitrant.

    You and I may have some similar characteristics besides hair color. Heh. Guns, tools (lathe envy), cooking. Glad to meet you. I actually just started a blog so I could comment here. I look forward to more stories.

  26. The first thing that came to my mind as I read the post title was "NO CAPES!"

    Sometimes, there's an Incredibles line for whatever situation is at hand, and Edna Mode was by far my favorite character. "Machine wash, too, darling; that's a new feature."

    I've had a couple days like that, which can only be described as "a day and a half." At least.

    Thanks for the giggle, though. I needed it tonight!

  27. Sometimes your stories have me laughing so hard I imagine a group of people swapping lies and me not being able to get a word in because I wouldn't be able to catch my breath. That was great.

  28. Now THAT was a day to remember. Hopefully the next day went better.


I started this blog so the child I gave up for adoption could get to know me, and in turn, her children, as well as share stories for a family that lives too far away. So please keep it friendly and kid safe. Posts that are only a link or include an ad for an unknown business automatically to to SPAM..