Friday, June 29, 2012

BACONOMICS - - Political Systems Made Simple

FEUDALISM: You have bacon. The lord comes and takes the bacon. And your last pig. You get a potato.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have some bacon. Your neighbor does not. The government takes your bacon and gives it to the neighbor. You have to take a second job to bring home the bacon so you can continue to supply the non working neighbor with your bacon.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have some bacon. The government takes half of it to give to the neighbor with none. The bacon is then managed by a Bacon Czar with a large staff. The Bacon Czar is a vegan. With the ensuing paperwork, and the latent inability of the Bacon Czar to actually handle the bacon, the bacon goes bad and is thrown out.

FASCISM: You have a little bit of bacon. The government takes it, and offers to sell you the oink.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have bacon. Your neighbor works to help you get more bacon and you share in it, even though he eats twice as much as you and does half the amount of work.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have bacon. The government takes it and gives you a potato.

DICTATORSHIP: You have bacon. The government takes it and drafts you. You get MRE's. They do not contain bacon.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have bacon. You vote with your neighbors as to how your bacon should be protected.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have some bacon. You elect someone to vote on how best to ensure you get more bacon.

LIBERAL SOCIETY: You don't like bacon so I don't get any.

BUREAUCRACY: You have bacon. The government makes a new food pyramid that tell you when you should eat the bacon and how often. It then pays you not to eat the bacon and takes it and throws it away, after you have filled out a form to pay your bacon tax for the bacon that you no longer have.

CALIFORNIA BUREAUCRACY: In California, bacon contains nitrates and fats that may be bad for people who have no willpower. So no one gets bacon.

PROGRESSIVISM: You have bacon. The government takes it and gives you a receipt.

ANARCHY: You have bacon. You try and sell the bacon to others so you survive or others with big pointy things simply take the bacon and kill you.

MONARCHY: We have bacon because you love us and want us to have bacon. Smile. Wave.

CAPITALISM: You have bacon. Strengthened by bacon, you work harder and buy a whole damn pig.

MUCH OF THE MIDDLE EAST: Bacon is unclean. Die infidel.

MAOISM - We are Urban Working Class. What is bacon??

Who wants a piece of your pie??


  1. I love this...We need equal bacon for all.

  2. Love it! I will post your link on my blog for others to read.

  3. mmmmm..Bacon :) That's a good one!

  4. Awesome post. Politics AND Bacon!

    We're gettin' porked.

    "What's in your quiche?"

  5. Rob - I need a bacon flag for this.

    Rose -thank you!!!

    Joan - yes! The recipe is there under the picture, I sometimes throw in some leftover bits of broccoli or mushroom in with this, but the recipe is pretty much fool proof.

    Sandy - thanks for visiting!

  6. Joan - we're getting porked. . hahahahahahah

  7. Dear Brigid, I love you, just not as much as bacon. :-)

  8. PREPPERS - You learn how to raise pigs and cure them using salt you harvested from the ocean yourself. You keep meticulous records on the rotation, consumption and resupply of the 532 pounds of bacon hanging in your bunker.
    After the apocalypse, you will be THE KING OF ALL THAT IS BACON.

  9. Great political summary.
    My new phrase is the opposite of the original Tea Party in the Boston Harbor:
    "No representation without taxation!"
    In other words, you don't pay taxes, you don't vote.
    As it is, those who don't work keep voting to take the bacon and the whole damn pig from those who do.

  10. LOL

    Your definiton-fu is waaay up, Brigid!

  11. I'll take Monarchy for all the marbles, Alex.

    BRIGID FOR QUEEN! She likes BACON!!!

    (But she can only be queen as long as she lets us have bacon.) (And guns. Must let us have guns too.)

  12. I'll take Monarchy for all the marbles, Alex.

    BRIGID FOR QUEEN! She likes BACON!!!

  13. Bacon for everybody! Yummy!!!

    I love your writing!

  14. And this is why I read your blog really is as simple as bacon.


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