Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Schemes o' mice an' men

Well, you what they say about best laid schemes.  Mine were simple.  Eat cake, run or ride around in an assortment of misadventures. Eat more cake.

Laying on my back with my leg (note, that is, ahem, ONE leg, one, singular) up in the air was not in the plan.

I got a little puncture injury to a lower extremity while squirreling about last week.  Cleaned it up, put a bandage on it, no muss, no fuss, no blog post. Went back to squirreling. It hurt but it was hardly more than a sharp poke, though it was pretty tender and sore over the weekend. Monday it was really sore. Yesterday, my left foot looked less like a foot than an inflatable sheep..
What's an inflatable sheep?
 
Sometimes I wish I'd majored in liberal arts, I'd know less. But I didn't, so I went to the ER, explaining I believed I had complications from an injury.

It wasn't long before I was in an exam room.

How did the injury occur? - I tell her, one eyebrow goes up, she doesn't call people into the room to point or laugh, that's always good.

Are you diabetic?  No.

Have you used birth control pills long term?  No, bad Netflix choices and a limited bar at home always seemed to do the trick.

Are you on any medications? - Gummy vitamins in my desk on days I don't get to eat right.  I had a Fred and a Wilma yesterday.  Daily glucosamine and fish oil.
What is the pain scale on 1 - 10.?  Look, I gave birth to a ten pound six ounce baby the old fashioned way and set my own broken arm once.  My pain scale is not YOUR pain scale.  Call it a six.

I was told "we'll have a nurse practitioner in here in a minute" as I took my slipper off for her (there was no getting a shoe on it, even one of my post torn miniscus ones that look like something Mickey Mouse would wear.)  She didn't say anything but an MD quickly showed up.

The pathophysiology was not a surprise.  There was an intimal injury to a vein from trauma and a bacterial infection, which caused swelling, with the end result being a blood clot (thrombosis) inside the vein. So - I get to spend a few days doing something I do NOT do very well. Take it easy. With my foot elevated so that the clot doesn't try and head north and throw a party in my lungs.
There is no fever.  The wound is healing with primary closure and I have an assortment of antibiotics, anti inflammatory and anti telemarketers to take. I know the signs of pulmonary embolism, acute myocardial infarction and and cardiovascular accident, though, with the location away from the main sephenous vein, that helps. (Though when I keep telling myself "it's not close to the saphenofemoral junction", I can't get the Heywood Banks"Trauma to the Groin" song out of my head.)

I will take my medications. I will not play contact football or juggle knives. I will not dangle my legs off a tall chair all afternoon playing Angry Birds.
On the plus side, from the knee up I feel good and the thrombosis is unlikely to add insult to injury with peptostreptococcus or fusarium proliferatum (which would be as much fun as Spa Day with Nancy Pelosi) though septicemia is always a risk. I've got the draft of Peter's new book in the Steve Maxwell sci fi series and a bunch of Bon Appetite and Model Railroader magazines purchased for fifty cents each from Half Priced Books.  I have a bunch of episodes of Pinky and the Brain, Dr. Who and Archer.

Even better, I was treated promptly and efficiently through a health care system that hasn't yet been totally bollocked up by some new age version of socialized medicine. If so, I'd be pasting my happy unicorn sticker to the back of my ice flow, setting a seat up on the four cases of Yuengling and asking Partner to give it a good shove out to sea.

So not to worry, I'm not going to.  There are people out there with a whole lot worse things to worry about.  If you say a prayer, say one for my Big Bro, say one for Roberta X's Mom, for Squeaky, for the folks in Colorado that lost everything in the fires and the families of Oklahoma, still reeling from the tornadoes, say one for folks you know that are dealing with serious, long term illnesses not just a minor hiccup in their week.

And have a piece of cake, you never know how long it's going to last.

35 comments:

  1. Hope your feeling all better soon! Yeah, to the high pain threshold. BTDT, more times than I care to remember. Prayers for all, especially to the families of those who gave all in Afghanistan yesterday.

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  2. Feel better soon. Puncture wounds can go funky on you in a hurry, can't they.

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  3. Yet something ELSE we have in common. Good luck with this.

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  4. Just do what you need to do. Having you around is far more needful than otherwise.

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  5. Ouch! Here's hoping the clot stays put until it gets reabsorbed by you. Find some shade, a lawn chair, and throw the tennis ball for Barkley!

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  6. I will not worry, instead, I will hoist an adult beverage in your honor to toast you with a speedy healing. Do dheagh shlàinte!

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  7. I know it's not what you want to do, but I hope you enjoy your quiet time. It never hurts to stop and let the world go by for a while.

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  8. Take care!
    Listen to the MD on this.
    I only but scrape, nudge, bump my lower extremities and I need to watch for Cellulitis and having MRSA (picked up from one or more of the thousands of patients I have cared for and transported)
    I well understand the take it easy, leg up, if any fever, redness, swelling etc...Yeah the routine.
    Prayers, get better..

    Stopping by here reminds me..Have not been to Bill's Gun Shop for a couple of months...What is wrong with me?

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  9. Ow. First thing I thought when you said "puncture" was infection. Nothing like pushing nasty things in no matter how bad the skin wants to keep them out.

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  10. Of course, I'll talk to the big guy upstairs for all that concern you, especially for you.

    You take care of yourself, and.....(I hate saying this)do anything and everything that the medicos tell you to do.

    Get well, take care, and God bless.

    Bob
    III

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  11. Have some cake for me!
    And take care of yourself!

    Probably just an unrepentant ex-KGB assassin who missed his mark.

    I know you'll find him and get him, anonymously.

    gfa

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  12. "You never know how long it's going to last" - exactly. Look after yourself - have a nap ;-)

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  13. Hello Brigid:

    Your writing has given me countless hours of enjoyment.

    I recently started blogging and if you get really, really bored you can check it out at
    eatonrapidsjoe.blogspot.com

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  14. Jeez. That totally sucks. Hope you have a rapid and complete recovery.

    I see steel boots in your future. Maybe in camo instead of black.

    Hopefully this will be the only medical issue of 2013. One every year, so this means you're done-?

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  15. Hey, don't knock that spa-day! Just think of how much fun it'd be to hold her head under the mudbath for an hour or so...

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  16. Good to hear it's responding to the antibiotics.

    Trust me, a MRSA is one thing you don't want to get!

    And believe me, I definitely understand the "Pain To The Groin" joke. It took a week for the swelling to go down, and almost three weeks for the bruising to go away from the catheter procedure to install the three stents they put in me early last month!

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  17. Cake sounds good. Really good.

    Hey, what the....cut out the Jedi Mind Tricks!

    --Matt R.

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  18. Doh!

    I've heard brandy helps.

    Pour a small amount on the wound.

    Drink the rest of the bottle.

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  19. Looks like a long weekend for you, take care and get well soon.

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  20. Well durn, things happen that shouldn't. Take care, be easy on yourself.

    Had clots number of years ago, different circumstances, docs were not overly concerned. Did not have the bacteria part though.

    Have watched the smoke waft overhead and said prayers for them and the folks down Oklahoma way. I will also say a prayer of healing for you.

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  21. Brighid - Thanks girlfriend. Dad says hi!!

    Knucklehead - perhaps if I quit thinking I was superwoman (and a 20year old one) I'd not knock myself around so much :-)

    Capt. Schmoe - thanks, my friend.

    Rev. Paul - thanks for the email, and I will try and oblidge. :-)

    Monkeywrangler - I'm at the crash pad, I can't drive home, too far, so no lawn chair. There IS a tennis ball though and a small yard.

    Andie - hear hear!

    daddybearsden - Barkley has been pretty good today. A colleague came by with my computer so I can telework next week and played with him a bit so he's not trying to take the truck out for a drive or anything.

    madmedic - been a while since I was there. Do they still have the Box O'Mausers?

    Proudhilly - I did the proper washing, guess it went in deeper than I thought.

    armlaughing - he knows I have extra .22 ammo, the KGB will do anything to get something to go plink at steel plates on Saturday.

    AussieAlaskan - the guys brought me the clean dish, and a card. I had to give up the secret recipe. Now they know I slaved a whole 30 minutes over them. :-)

    JoeMama - thanks for the comment and welcome to the Wide World Of Blogging!

    Female and Armed - thanks Lynne.

    naturegirl - Outside of the female surgery, everything has been because I refuse to slow down and therefore get occassionally "dented". Perhaps my body is trying to tell me something. No, it's telling me, if you run and jump and play you can eat more bacon!

    RabidAlien - I snorted tea at that. Mudbath. hahahahahahahaha

    drjim - that's not an easy thing that you went through and I speak for all of us that we're really, really glad you are OK.

    Rogue Aviation - I cake WOULDN'T cake DO cake ANYTHING cake LIKE cake cake THAT, OR cake SUBLIMINAL cake MESSAGES.

    MSGtB - None with the meds, but that DOES sound good. The strongest thing I can have is that sleepy tea with the bear that looks like he's stoned on the box.

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  22. Sorry to hear your down Hope you have a quick recovery.

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  23. Box Mausers or Mosin/Nagants...Mostly MosinNagants.

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  24. Dennis

    At least it is simple as compared to this http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2013/05/this-photo-of-a-brutal-snake-bite-injury-taken-by-bear-grylls-is-the-worst-thing-ever/. Get better.
    From a person that rarely goes to doctor and thus gets the stern warning that I could have died.:)

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  25. Having had a couple PE's in the past I hope you will be careful. Follow doc's orders and get some rest. I'm hoping for a speedy recovery for you. +1 to DaddyBear.

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  26. Stream "Voyage of the Damned" (Season 4 Ep. 1 on Netflix) if you haven't already seen that "Doctor Who" episode. "Blink" is my favorite episode overall, but the climax of "Voyage of the Damned" tops my list of best moments in the revived series.

    The fun starts with the "Messianic" bit. You'll know what I mean when it happens. Sadly, Auntie Beeb, mean old woman that she is, put the responsible effects house out of business this year in an effort to cut costs on "Doctor Who".

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  27. You know that active lifestyle of yours is going to get you killed....be more of a couch potato and live longer because.....because....more is better?

    Get well soon B.

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  28. Sorry to hear of your misfortune, Brigid. BTDT. Nothing sucks worse than inactivity for me. Good time to catch up on the reading. Sending good vibes your way...

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  29. Get well soon Brigid. I imagine Barkley is taking the enforced downtime soooo well :)

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  30. Time to read your ARRL Technician Exam Study Guide!

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  31. You are in our prayers as always. If I know you, And I think I do, you'll turn this into an opportunity to do something nefarious wiht the upturned leg.

    I have a good respectable nosebleed going due to the sinus scraping earlier today. I guess I made the mistake of laying down to rest. I'd be concerned but if the wife can bleed like this for eight days it probably isn't likely to kill me either. So I suppose I will be sitting up for as long as it takes now, which should make sleeping intersting.

    Hell to get old innit? Beats the alternative but by how much I dunno.

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  32. RonF is right Brigid, it IS a great time to study for your amateur radio license! QRZ.com has the best online test set up.
    Vic303

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  33. I go away on vacation for a week, and you mess yourself up.

    You don't do anything halfway, do you?

    Hang in there, take your drugs, and get better!

    And I hate that pain scale thing. It's so hard to quantify pain down to mere numbers. What would have been a 9 five years ago is now only a 5, and so on. Such a pain, when you're already hurting!

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