Friday, March 20, 2015

You Were the One for Me - a Meme

It was going to be  a long drive home with traffic after a long duty shift.  Adding to the fun would be an assortment of truckers who truly believed that because their truck could go point five mph's more than the other semi truck in the right lane truck they should take over the only passing lane and stay there for 15 minutes, while cars back up behind them 10 miles. Usually when I finally get past one of them, I'll speed by like a lizard on a tile floor, full throttle and giving him that friendly Hoosier wave (involves a distal phalanx). Since our kitchen floor is not quite done, and I'm very tired, Partner in Grime suggested I just get a good nights sleep while he lays the rest of the tile, and I'll go up in the morning. Sounds like a plan and I have Heidi Pops popcorn (pretzel jalapeno this time)

I can't say I love the commute, but I love my husband and our home, and it just happens to be several hours from where I work.  But sometime it's a pleasant enough drive, listening to music and the news. After all the news of Washington and extremists and such lately, I'd almost love to go back to the good old news days when the headlines were simply some New York mayor candidate that can't keep from sending photos of his namesake to strange women.  All I could think of was, as tired as I was -  "what if politicians were named like the seven dwarfs".  You'd have  (in New York anyway) Hippy, Horny, Sleezy, Gropey, Greedy, Humpy (only six dwarfs, Doc was replaced by Obamacare).

But you know, for every story I read like that, for every relationship that's imploded in the news, I still know dozens and dozens of people, many like family to me, some actual family, that have someone in their life that is their one and only.  Many of us also have had the blessing of parents that weren't just partners in the marriage, but were best friends as well.
Yesterday, my friend Bill Keller - Author of  Just the Basics, shared a picture with his friends of he and his not-yet wife in 1971, re-united after he'd been away for four years in the military, two without even seeing one another once. She waited for him, and you can tell by the look in their eyes, they are both very glad. You look at the picture of them now, forty some years later, and they still look at each other like that and when Partner and I shared a meal with him last, and he talked about her, his face lit up in the same manner. That just makes me smile.

Every family has their stories of when "Mom and Dad" met.  My parents - sixth grade.  Dad mercilessly teased the new girl in school all day. On the way home she wound up and beaned him from a good distance with a milk bottle. I'm surprised it didn't hurt him, but he was certainly impressed by both her throw and her aim. They were pretty much inseparable after that, only being apart during WWII.

Since I work with all guys, no one really talks about "relationships" though (unless it involves a relationship with a buffalo chicken wing), but once in a while someone let's something slip. When leaving for a business lunch with someone that's also a close friend, h  noticed the large tire iron wedged where I could easily grab it from the front seat of my truck (the "drive through Gary road service tool").

He just smiled.  He then told me the story of when he decided he was going to marry his wife of some thirty years.

He said "we were in our 20's, in her car, at the mall for something she was supposed to pick up for her Mom.  We came out and though she was well within the lines of her spot, this young jerk pulls in, parking so close to her there is no way she can get IN, let alone OUT, then walks off with a smirk. There was barely enough room on the passenger side for her to get in.  I couldn't fit but she was able to climb in the passenger side, but getting out of the spot was almost impossible, he being an inch from her car.  After quite a few minutes of  small, but precise maneuvering, she got the car free."

Ahh, I thought to myself, a woman who can handle a vehicle.   Then he continued.

"What I was so surprised with, was how calmly and skillfully she just take of the problem, without asking for help. She just calmly and expertly, got her car free".

So I said "that's when you decided she was the one for you?"

"No". . he said.  "It  was when she had backed out.  She got out of the car, all composed in her pretty little dress, took out the tire iron and busted out his headlights."
Oh, how I laughed But I bet we all have some stories.  Certainly we all have the ones of when we knew someone was NOT the right one for us.  Storiest hat involve bad manners, crazy relatives, "you have HOW many pet ferrets?", underwear under the bed that's not yours, an aversion to firearms, yard signs for Democratic senators, an assortment of 2nd degree felonies and personal computer misdeeds that would make Snowden blush.

Almost all of us have been there, and it usually leaves you wanting nothing more from the world than air to push on through and exhale. Then you meet someone,  Sometimes you come together like two ships, becalmed, floating next to each other until you finally, and softly, touch, and you are captured by that which is the essence of dreams. Sometimes you meet in heat and flame, built up over years of carefully tended embers that survived some rough miles, just needing the right touch and a breath to give spark to it.

Either one is a wondrous journey, one that for me began in a little coffee shop in Indiana where a little train ran on a track along the ceiling inside as the forgotten coffee grew cold and a black dog waited patiently at our fee. We had been the best of friends online for many years, because of a shared spirit and a few mutual souls that we knew. But we met because that one long-time blog reader said "would you like to meet me for coffee? and I said "yes."  

So - for those of you married or in a long term relationship, what was that moment when you knew this person was for you?

You all have a wonderful Friday night.
 - Brigid


  1. Very good post, thanks I needed that reminder today.

  2. Our moment: the night we went for a long walk, the rain showers turned into a deluge, and she just laughed and kept walking. :)

  3. When she called me back into the car after out first date and gave me my first real kiss. I was 18. Now I'm 50 and have never kissed anyone else. I'm incredibly lucky.

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  5. "underwear under the bed that's not yours" Love it! That would definitely fall into the get the f*&k outta dodge category! I also thought your friends story was wonderful! Great post!

  6. One of our first dates, the movie wasn;t for an hour 0r so, so we wandered into the mall. She picked up this nice, stylish belt, leather with what looked like bronze studs or bosses. She picked it up, examined the construction, and wrapped the belt around her fist...

    Tomorrow's our anniversary, by the way.

  7. Hubby and I met on a blind date (remember them?) It's been 50 years now....

  8. I had to laugh out loud at that story.

  9. You and Partner made me smile as well Ms. B . . . enjoy the journey Brigid, it's much easier with someone you love at your side, and a lot more fun! :)

  10. Glad some of y'all have found 'that' person. Congrats to you!

  11. He came to work for me on a project and two weeks later we were sending everyone home due to a blizzard. He was left and due to go out at 4 a.m. I was in the bar breathing a sigh of relief that we had gotten almost 70 people on planes without a hitch. He came up to thank me and asked me to dance. The music was fast and a disco ball was spinning and when I declined he took my hand and said we can dance anyway we want. I fell in love under that ball as we slow dance to Saturday night fever. We were never apart after that and I had the most wonderful 19 years anyone could have.

  12. We met in high school, dated a while then I went into the Navy.When I finished "A" school I came home on leave and a local radio station was promoting Valentines day by paying for the marriage licence of anyone who got married on Valentines Day. They were pretty pricey back then, two whole dollars. So it's been 55 years now, best decision I've ever made. When did I realize it was right? Two weeks back. Saturday I think it was.

  13. When I found out that those six kids with her at McDonalds after church were her nieces and nephews.

  14. We shared an appetizer of chicken strips at Denny's and never got to the bottom of the basket because we were too busy talking to think about actually eating.

  15. could be when I heard from friends about the fight she had had against a woman that had been bullying her, but I knew I was committed when I stopped learning Korean and would spent time and effort teaching her American English. I was going to spend my life with her... and that is the way is was...

  16. My wife and I met our first day of our Junior year of High School I had moved that summer from Massachusetts to Illinois and we were seated alphabetically by last name (her last name is "F..." too). She turned around to talk to the kid who had been sitting back the the previous two years and found me instead. Later on I got drafted to help her with her math homework, and then she asked me to "turnabout". There really wasn't an "ah ha" moment. It just kind of happened.

  17. I should mention that I knew I had my Dad's approval when one day, after (one of the rare occasions when) he did the laundry, I found on top of the stack of my neatly folded clothes her equally neatly folded bra.

    Later on he said "Well, I knew it wasn't your mother's ...."

    That was over 40 years ago.

  18. We had been together a long while, and drifting apart. Finally, we decided that dating others would be a good idea. It went okay for her, and well for me. Met a woman whom I was able to make very happy, with all those attributes men are supposed to want, and do, and more.
    Then one night it came to me: She's not Diane. I took her up to the Sonoma wine country, where I told her I loved her, and that I wanted to spend my life with her, and if I did I'd be the luckiest man on Earth. Shortly after we were married in San Francisco's City Hall.

    Thank God!


I started this blog so the child I gave up for adoption could get to know me, and in turn, her children, as well as share stories for a family that lives too far away. So please keep it friendly and kid safe. Posts that are only a link or include an ad for an unknown business automatically to to SPAM..