Gnome on the Range- On Travel

I was discussing travel plans and travel budgets and such folks who are friends but are also in a related field. I'm going out to see Dad again  in about a month and am trying to get out there and back without spending a thousand bucks or more for car and airfare.

It had been a really long day and we were pretty tired as we chatted.

Someone mentioned going through TSA Precheck on a personal trip.

Someone else said:  Yes, that's better than the usual screening--that way you don't get fonded and wandled.

Fonded and Wandled?  Yes that pretty much covers it..

But travel, be it for family or work, isn't really fun. I'm happy as can be to hole up at the Range with Partner on all my days off and not go anywhere, but maybe a meal with some of the gang. Butu I get out to see Dad as often as I can, his time short, those trips as frequent as leave and pocketbook allows.  Usually I have some Hilton Rewards points, but after using them up I made the mistake of using one of those "Budget" trip planning services you see so much on TV on a personal trip. 

You know the one I'm talking about, right? It doesn't have Captain Kirk but rather a cute little gnome that helps you get cheap rates. Well the rates are cheap. But then there are the surprises. The rooms you can get for a cut rate, but add on the taxes and the mysterious "fees" your room has gone up 20%. Yes, in addition to the city tax, hotel tax, airport tax, the "we offer both undrinkable caffeinated AND decaffeinated coffee in your room" tax, there is a "fee" that is unexplained and adds on quite a few bucks to your room cost.

So after little sleep, a long day and the cab ride from hell  that day (I guess the problem with his steering might have been all the dead pedestrians wedged into the undercarriage) I arrived at my "Three and a half star" hotel. My non smoking room had an ashtray in it. Not a good sign. There were TV problems, the regular TV worked, but none of the movies did, not even NaughtyVision. At least the Remove isn't nailed to the night stand like that Days Inn long ago.  At least I could go swim in the hotel pool.

Sorry pool heater broken. (Water may not be as warm as we would like translates to "no running or diving off the ice floes.")
Check in at most hotels and find a room different than what you purchased, problems, services advertised out, Internet or movie channels inop or problems in general, and the hotel itself will usually make it up to you some way. I rarely complain, but when I've had to, I've been upgraded on my next stay at their chain or had a room comped. But not when you book through this discount service. The hotel desk clerk will tell you, with that look doctors give you when they say you have 36 hours to live, "you need to call their customer service". Sure they guarantee "your booking will be right" but when you call their customer service, not only do you get someone in India, they have a command of the English language that consists of the phrases you most often encounter when dealing with outsourced customer service- "thanks for calling insert service provider's service name here" and "NO".

Since them I've learned about the advantages of reward points, calling the hotel direct and other ways to save (seriously, the service is making money off of you so you are NOT paying rock bottom prices for that room).  I've also learned to dislike the Gnome (who is sort of the anti-Flo) and thoroughly enjoyed my gnome target.

But as I head off on another trip, I wrote a little song, which you can sing along to the tune of Roger Millers classic.

Hotel suite for modest rent
but taxes add like 20 percent
No porn, no pool, no pets
place reeks of cigarettes
Ah, but ten hours of wearing flannels
while relaxing with some 50 channels
I'm a gal of means by no means
Queen of the Road

..