Wednesday, December 17, 2014
On Girl's Night Out, a Scarf, and Band-aids to the Soul
He's ready to go to his reward, we just want him to go on his own terms, in his home, Bible by his side, remote in his hand and his favorite team winning the touchdown. Till then, my cousin Liz, his grandchildren and I, will do all we can to keep him happy and comfortable. He has insurance for a nursing home. I'm not putting him there. He needs full time nursing care and he's getting it in all his waking hours, but he will step over that threshold from his own home, surrounded by memories of my Mom and my brother and his first child, the sister I never met, as long as I can physically sign a check.
But it's not been easy with him so far away and the trips back and forth out West and words have not been easy to lay down here regularly while I process the news. So many of my friends are going through similar things with their own aging parents, so we can only share each other's burden.
But, with my husband on the road, and I working in Indy this week, I did get a big moment of brightness tonight as we moved Girl's Day out to Girls' Night Out. I could have some company with Tam as she and I hit the Irish Pub after I got off work.
Neither of us were starving. Tam had the soup and I ordered the Pub Mac and Cheese (with bacon!) which I ate about 1/4 of and took the rest home for a couple of meals (it was really yummy, and the service was awesome, I just wasn't hungry).
The picture, with the point and shoot, and harsh light of the crash pad, which we headed to after our dinner excursion, does not begin to do it justice. It's extremely beautiful and flows like water through the hands, like tears of joy.
It is such gestures that have made this year bearable.
There are many of you here that have made my life a better place, quietly, and without fanfare. The snippets of words telling me what my stories have meant to you, the hand written notes, the photos, the sharing of my biggest joy this year and the one thing I'm more proud of than about anything I've done-- because it was the one thing I thought I couldn't do--The Book of Barkley. Here among the craters of my biggest losses, and the trepidation that is the perception of the failure of one's dream--author, not just blogger--have been the people that supported that dream and shared it. They may not be large in number when you look at my readership as a whole, but they are a tremendous, healing balm to those wounds that a lifetime can lay down, and a single year can reopen.
Love - Brigid
Posted by Brigid at 7:53 PM