Wednesday, December 17, 2014

On Girl's Night Out, a Scarf, and Band-aids to the Soul

Thank you everyone for the comments and emails.  We found out about Dad about a week ago.  I wasn't sure whether to share or keep it  private.  There's been a lot of heartache here this year, and adding to it at the holiday time wasn't something I would want (oh great-- it's  that HOTR lady - what's next? Locust and petulance?)  But Dad would appreciate the prayers and so I shared.

He's ready to go to his reward, we just want him to go on his own terms, in his home, Bible by his side, remote in his hand and his favorite team winning the touchdown. Till then, my cousin Liz, his grandchildren and I, will do all we can to keep him happy and comfortable.  He has insurance for a nursing home.  I'm not putting him there.  He needs full time nursing care and he's getting it in all his waking hours, but he will step over that threshold from his own home, surrounded by memories of my Mom and my brother and his first child, the sister I never met, as long as I can physically sign a check.

But it's not been easy with him so far away and the trips back and forth out West and words have not been easy to lay down here regularly while I process the news. So many of my friends are going through similar things with their own aging parents, so we can only share each other's burden.

But, with my husband on the road, and I working in Indy this week, I did get a big moment of brightness tonight as we moved Girl's Day out to Girls' Night Out. I could have some company with Tam as she and I hit the Irish Pub after I got off work. 
The typewriter was so cool and we both thought of Roberta and took pictures (she has the coolest collection of antique typewriters).

Neither of us were starving. Tam had the soup and I ordered the Pub Mac and Cheese (with bacon!) which I ate about 1/4 of and took the rest home for a couple of meals (it was really  yummy, and the service was awesome, I just wasn't hungry).
While we were there she passed on this. It was a gift from one of my readers, delivered through Marco and then Tam.  It was from a Colonel in the military with one of our Allies serving in Afghanistan.  It had been delivered some time ago, but with my brother's death and taking care of Dad, she'd not been able to get it to me til tonight. Actually --it was very fitting that I got it late, as I really needed this touch of friendship tonight
It was a genuine Pashmina Scarf from Afghanistan, from a well known market stall, handmade by Afghan children providing them with gainful employment and a chance to learn the trade.  This scarf is a symbol of the good works that NATO was active in while in Afghanistan, for in any place where there is strife there are people, simply trying to improve the lives of those they tend do. 

The picture, with the point and shoot, and harsh light of the crash pad, which we headed to after our dinner excursion, does not  begin to do it justice.  It's extremely beautiful and flows like water through the hands, like tears of joy.

It is such gestures that have made this year bearable.
For I have been reminded this year, from personal notes written by people that have sent books to be autographed, from bloggers, from my friends who just happen to be bloggers, from virtual strangers--like the amazing person that sent this scarf, of one very important thing.   For if it sometimes seem that  I am alone, my message disregarded,  I'm not and it isn't, not really.

There are many of you here that have made my life a better place, quietly, and without fanfare. The snippets of words telling me what my stories have meant to you, the hand written notes, the photos, the sharing of my biggest joy this year and the one thing I'm more proud of than about anything I've done-- because it was the one thing I thought I couldn't do--The Book of Barkley.  Here among the craters of my biggest losses, and the trepidation that is the perception of the failure of one's dream--author, not just blogger--have been the people that supported that dream and shared it.  They may not be large in number when you look at my readership as a whole, but they are a tremendous, healing balm to those wounds that a lifetime can lay down, and a single year can reopen.

Love - Brigid


  1. Words cannot convey, only be sure so many of us have you in our hearts. You have been so strong for those you love, may God give you the same strength for yourself.

  2. You have more friends than you know, and what James said is correct. May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you.

  3. Please pass on my best wishes if you get the chance.

    He climbed those aluminum stairs.
    It was long ago for you and I, but for him it was just yesterday.

    We all live forever.
    In the hearts and souls of our brethren, now and tomorrow, who strap themselves to those giant machines.

  4. We will be praying.

    Whether you know it or not, you are an inspiration to a lot of us. Your words are always encouraging and often quite moving. Some of us have limitations on what we can do and even what we can express. We're out here, nonetheless, and we appreciate what you do.

  5. Because are worth it.
    That is why we are here.

  6. My thoughts and prayers always.

  7. Any small measure of balm I have provided you has been returned ten-fold unto me. Just sayin'.....:-)

  8. I only hope you can find some peace thru all of this.


  9. During the span of 2005 through 2008, I lost my Dad, then my Mom, then my Wife and then my dog so I understand a bit of how you feel. I am so glad you have found your partner and another Lab and pray for further happiness and love for you, as you deal with your challenges. Your stories and comments bring laughter, knowledge and tears into my life and I am so grateful for all of them. Thank you so much.

  10. That is a very lovely scarf.
    Lots of love and prayers for you and yours. So glad you got a chance to get out and have some fun and companionship.

  11. Thank you everyone, a quick note before bed and a 4 a.m. alarm. Your comments, emails and thoughts have got me through a tough year.


I started this blog so the child I gave up for adoption could get to know me, and in turn, her children, as well as share stories for a family that lives too far away. So please keep it friendly and kid safe. Posts that are only a link or include an ad for an unknown business automatically to to SPAM..